Problems by Bramble
Summary: Josh seeks 'Donna advice' from Sam but Toby seems to have
most of the answers.
Spoilers: The War at Home and the episodes thru The Stackhouse
Filibuster. (Nothing specific besides the Joey Lucas revelation in
TWAH, but assume everything that's happened thru TSF has happened
here.)
Archive: Sure, if ya want.
Disclaimers: Aaron Sorkin owns them all.
Feedback: I've decided that I really like feedback.
Notes: Just a stand-alone piece (I think). I actually wrote this
pretty fast as I am stumped on another idea I am working on. My point
being, it's just a little something that jumped into my head today.
Rating: PG if that, for all of the silly smut is in the other piece I
am stumped on ;-)
***
The bar was loud, but not as noisy as Flannigan's across the street.
That's why they were here instead. It was an 8:00 P.M. working
break to discuss how to rally up congressional support for an
education bill that would supply funding for new textbooks to
inner-city schools. It had been a long day and someone had suggested
a brainstorming session at this familiar Georgetown bar.
"Is Toby coming?"
"Yeah, he had to finish the thing first," Sam said as he grabbed a
peanut from the bowl.
"Ok", Josh took a swig from his beer.
"So, who do you think.."
"What do you think of Donna..?" They both started at the same time.
"Well," Sam paused, "I think we have Donna's support for the bill,
but she's not a member of Congress so I don't really think she counts
in this instance."
"Yeah, that's um, actually not what I was thinking of."
"I didn't think so, Josh." Sam sat there grinning at his best friend.
"I mean..." He stammered a bit and then grabbed a handful of peanuts
and began to put all of his effort into shelling them.
"I think Donna puts up with a lot of crap from you, although, oddly
enough, not so much in the last few weeks. I think Donna is sweet,
and smart, and obviously very attractive."
"I liked the hat", quipped Josh.
"Excuse me?"
"Remember, when we set the thing on fire, it was cold, she had that
little hat on. I told her that morning that it made her look like 'the
flying nun', but I really liked it, she was.... adorable in it".
"Did you tell her that part?"
"Noooo", came Josh's reply. He now had a pile of shells and a pile
of peanuts. He pushed the peanuts over towards Sam.
"That's ok, you have them".
"I don't like peanuts."
"Ok."
"What do you think about Donna..."
"I think we already covered this."
"You didn't let me finish."
"Ok."
"What do you think about Donna and.."
"Josh, I got that part, what's the part after Donna?" Sam interrupted
looking at him with a face so strained with effort trying not to
laugh, it appeared it might crack at any moment. Unfortunately, Josh
was too distracted to notice his friend's badly hidden amusement at
this point.
"And me."
"I'm sorry?"
"The part after Donna is ..... and me." Josh muttered into his beer,
taking a big sip.
"Ahhhhhh...well, I think..."
"She's young. She was 24 when I hired her", he interrupted.
"She's 27 now, you've, well, you've watched her blossom into a woman,
Josh."
"Okay, stop being funny, that just creeps me out, you make me sound
like some kind of pervert here. I'm trying to be serious and you mock
me. Do you want to mock me or help me."
"I want to mock you", Sam chuckled, "Sorry, I had to say that. Look,
she's 27, almost everyone she works with is older than she is, yet
she conducts herself very professionally, I really don't see that as
a problem. So you're about to turn 40", Sam stoped briefly and
looked at Josh, watching his friend put his head down on the table
and moan, "my point is, it's no big deal", Sam finished, popping a
couple of pre-shelled peanuts into his mouth.
Lifting his head up, Josh muttered under his breath, "I am a
pervert. I really liked the hat. Sometimes I think about Donna
wearing just the hat and..." he trailed off.
"All men are perverts. It's what we do."
"See, Joey Lucas said something. I've been thinking about it since
she left."
"When she was here polling?"
"Yeah, she said if there were a hundred Donnas.."
"There are a hundred Donnas?" Toby asked as he hung his coat up on
the hook outside the booth and glared at Sam until the younger man
slid over so that Toby could scoot in.
"No, there's only one Donna, and Josh likes her. He likes her hat a
whole lot" Sam said with a grin as he filled a mug and pushed it
towards Toby and Josh started to blush.
"I'm not drinking that crap", Toby responded as he began to look
around for a waitress, "when you say you like Donna, you mean as an
assistant, right?"
"No," Sam answered, "he means like a pervert."
"Stop!" Josh's head went down on the table again as Toby and Sam
exchanged glances.
Sam reached across the table and lightly batted his friend on the
top of the head.
"What did Joey Lucas say, sport?"
Lifting his head, Josh took another handful of peanuts.
"I don't want anymore peanuts, Josh".
"These are for Toby", he responded and began to shell, "She said that
the reason Donna wanted me to ask her out was because she liked me."
Sam nodded and Toby frowned.
"Donna wanted you to ask her out because she likes you?"
"Okay, there are to many pronouns here", Sam offered, "I'm a writer,
I can translate. Toby, Donna was bugging Josh to ask Joey Lucas out.
Joey, it appears, later told Josh, that Donna was doing this because
Donna liked Josh."
"Right", Josh confirmed with a nod.
"Ahhh, misdirection", Toby responded as he finally managed to flag
down a waitress and order a 'real drink'.
"How do you know about that?" Josh asked.
"Misdirection Josh, you're a politician, how do *you* not know about
that?" Toby spat out.
"How did Joey know about that?"
"What I wonder", Toby started, throwing out a pained expression, "is
how the Washington Post doesn't know this?"
"That Donna wanted me to ask Joey Lucas out?" Josh asked, confusion
spreading across his face for the second time that evening.
"No you putz, how you have a thing with your assistant. Thanks," he
nodded to the waitress as she set his drink on the table.
"No I don't!"
"You really do", Sam agreed. "You flirt, you banter, you make her
stay when you work late, and you always stare at her. You have a
thing, and quite frankly, Joey Lucas isn't the only one who knows
it", he finished with a self-satisfied grin.
"Toby, did you know this?" Josh asked in a voice a bit higher than
his normal conversational tone.
"Yeah."
"When? When did you know this?"
"Remember during the campaign and you came into that meeting and told
Leo that you had found an 'assistant' and that you wanted to 'keep
her'?"
"Yeah".
"That's when I knew."
"How?"
"Josh, you said you would pay her salary until she could be put on it
officially. Then, when I met Donna, I saw this blonde, leggy girl and
I knew. I knew that the two of you working together would be a
problem eventually."
"Toby, what are you saying? I never.." Josh looked at Toby shocked.
"I know, I must admit I was wrong. I was wrong about the type of
problem. I figured she would work for you a bit, something would
happen, and she'd quit."
"That didn't happen," Sam added helpfully.
"Yes, thank you Kreskin", Toby paused to give Sam a patented
Toby-glare before he continued, "but she actually stood up to you. I
had figured either something inappropriate would happen between the
two of you or you would be your typical ass-self and she would run
crying from the office one day never to return. But, strangely
enough, you would do something idiotic and she would call you an
idiot. I started to like her then and figured that when you screwed
something up too bad to fix, we could just fire you and keep her. I'm
still holding out for that, actually."
Sam smiled into his beer and Josh stared at the both of them with
wide eyes.
"Josh", Toby continued with a sigh, "do you know what the second
worst kept secret in Washington is?"
"Umm, no", he hesitantly answered.
"You and Donna. And the only reason it hasn't been a problem yet is
because the only two people that don't know about it are..."
"You and Donna", Sam finished.
Josh's mouth fell open.
"I take it that isn't the case anymore", Toby finished, downing the
rest of his drink.
"We have a problem", Sam agreed with a nod.
***
"It's not a problem", Josh started, "Donna doesn't know I know, and
to be honest I don't even know what I know. She probably doesn't even
like me. Joey Lucas was probably wrong."
"She does", Toby and Sam said at the same time. Sam backed off, as
he made an elaborate sweeping gesture with his hand in Toby's
direction and yielded the floor to him.
"I told her.."
"You told her I liked her?" Josh screeched in his new 'high-voice'
that Sam made a mental note to start calling his 'Donna-tone'.
"Shut up", Toby said sternly, "I'm not done. After you were shot, I
was the one that told Donna what had happened."
A serious mood quickly descended onto the table and there were few
seconds of silenece.
"I told her you were hit and she asked, 'with what?' We're all
sitting there shocked and utterly devastated and she asks with such
innocence and naiveté, 'with what?'. From that whole night, that's
what I remember most clearly. What she said and the way she looked
when I told her you were shot. She never left, you know", he paused
for a moment to add emphasis, "We all tried to get her to go home,
even the First Lady, but she wouldn't. She stayed until you were ok.
You were the one shot but I think she was the one that almost died
that night." Catching Josh's blank stare, Toby added, "Here, I'll
pass you the note, Josh. Donna 'likes' you."
Josh sighed, "and it's a problem because she's my assistant."
"Yes." Toby answered, looking down at his empty glass, "That night
after Rosslyn was also when everyone in the waiting room knew for
sure, I think, that the fact that you two would eventually be a
problem didn't really matter so much."
"What?"
"What the big lug here is trying to say," Sam started, "Oww!".
"Sorry, was that you?" Toby asked.
"Yes!"
"Good", Toby scowled at Sam and then turned his attention back to
Josh, "what *I* am saying is that, this thing that you and Donna have
is not just a thing. It has the potential to be more than that. Look
at us. Except for the President and the First Lady, no one has a
relationship, we all work ridiculous hours, we have no lives outside
of the West Wing."
"I dated a prostitute and Leo's daughter", offered Sam.
"I am going to kick you again if you don't shut up", Toby said to Sam
with a raised voice, he continued, "somehow you managed to find this
woman that will put up with you and, for some reason I will never
understand, she cares about you tremendously. You obviously feel the
same way about her. I think, that you should find out if you can
have this without screwing it up and PR problems be damned."
"Toby, I don't know what to say", Josh muttered, clearly shocked.
"I'm not saying you should run back to work and profess your love,
winding up in a heap of moaning, pale love-flesh on the floor of your
office. Because I think when this three-year ball of sexual tension
finally explodes, we are all going to get caught in the mess. What I
am saying is, that when you think you're ready to try being more than
her boss or her friend, maybe you should really try, and I'm only
saying that because I think this thing is more than a three-year
ball of sexual tension. Am I right in assuming that?" Toby paused and
waited for a response, "Josh?" he asked louder.
"Yes", came a subdued reply.
"Ok. Now, as fun as this discussion of Josh's personal life has been,
can we please do what we came here to do".
Josh nodded and excused himself to use the restroom before they dived
into the bill strategy.
"How much do you want to bet he's calling Donna to say he's going to
be back at the office later than he thought?" Sam asked, as he gazed
out into the bar area.
"I think we actually have work to do here." Toby gruffly replied.
"Toby, you can't fool me anymore. I had no idea you were such a
romantic."
"Owww! Ok, let's work", Sam muttered as he reached down to rub his
leg where Toby had slammed his heel into Sam's shin again.
***
End.