AUTHOR: L.N. Lockhart AKA Lin

DATE: January 4, 2001

SPOILERS: none really unless you were planning on reading the Harry Potter series

CATEOGRY: #2 in my Light & Lush series of fics about nothing for nothing that say nothing after Soap Suds

FEEDBACK: you don't have to but I won't quibble if you do

ARCHIVE: this isn't a homeless fic but if you want it, let me know; I'll be happy to let it out and play with the other fics.

SUMMARY: A serious discussion on Air Force One. yeah right!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my tribute to one of the best children's series I have ever read. And all of my favorite books. Too bad they didn't have these books [Harry Potter] around when I was young, I would have had a ball. Again, please don't nitpick about they would never do so and so. The series is just about the what-ifs and the possibilities so sit back and relax. Oh yeah, I've read all of these books mentioned,
and I highly reccommend all of them. I may make fun of these books, GWTW included, but that doesn't mean I dislike them. Well Hemingway yes but the rest are fine. Gone with the Wind is my hands down favorite book of all time. And FYI, I did read the book when I was 10, then again when I was 11, and then when I was 14. I really love that book. As for CJ's story surrounding it, that really happened to
me.

Magical Flights of Fancy
by Lin

Josh POV.

Oh thank you! There is a God somewhere. They have finally finished talking about their stupid makeup. Who would have known there was so many combinations for 'alabaster' skin? ::snort:: Maybe they'll shut up so I can get a little sleep on this airplane to Hollywood Hell.

"Did you bring any books along with you?"

Oh God, not again. Maybe this will be an intelligent conversation.

"Mmm-hmm," CJ answered.

"Did you ever finish A Walk to Remember?" Donna looked at CJ inquiringly.

CJ turned to Donna, eager to tell her tale. "Oh yes! I didn't think you were right that this book was going to make me cry."

Maybe not.

"Cry?" I turned to CJ, trying not to snicker too loudly.

"Yes Josh, cry. That was an incredibly sensitive book. And the heroine, well I'm not going to say."

"Die?"

She looked a bit miffed. "Yes, but it's how it happens that gets you."

"What?" I asked nonchalantly. "Did she get hit by a bus on the way to school?"

"Josh, I suggest you shut up right now."

"Or what Donna?"

"Or CJ and I are going to revive your secret inflation plan." She stuck her tongue out at me. At me. The White House Deputy Chief of Staff. The nerve.

"Now back to what you were saying?"

"I'm glad it wasn't too late for them. I knew something awful was going to happen when I got to the scene about the Christmas pageant the seniors put on every year." CJ's words were muffled as if she was trying not to cry.

I roll my eyes, hoping not to get sucked into the overly dramatic melodrama being played out before my eyes.

"Well CJ, I have a couple of books that I'm on right now."

"What?"

"I just finished Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Summer Sisters so I could start reading ---"

I cut her off. "Wait a minute, someone put 'ya-ya' in the title of a book."

CJ and Donna glared at me for my constant interruptions. "Josh if you don't want to hear what we're saying, I'm sure there are many places on this plane where you can be alone. And anyway, ya-ya is a play on the creole, 'gumbo ya-ya'."

"Do you even know creole? Or anyone who speaks creole?"

She sputtered for a second. "Well no, but it was in the book." She jabbed her finger on her knee to make her point.

Oh, that's it. The high and mighty book. Say anything in a book and it's gospel. I looked over at Toby and Sam, engrossed in a speech, not really paying attention to what was going on. Me on the other hand, was bored stiff, and really needed someone to talk to.

"Fine," I mutter.

"So what book are you on now?"

Donna squealed. "That's the best part." She reached into her bag to pull out a green hardback book with---

"Harry Potter!"

Oh my God! A psychotic two year old works for me. As my assistant. Does that rub off on other people?

"Donna, don't you know that's a children's book?" I looked at CJ hoping she wouldn't curse at me but this time even she looked a bit confused.

"You like this book?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. I was a bit skeptical at first because of the fervor going around about it. But I talked to a friend of mine in England who told me to read them. Her parents were fighting over the books."

"What are they five going on six?" I asked sarcastically.

"Josh, have you ever read Harry Potter?"

"Thankfully no."

"Do you know anything about Harry Potter?"

"That it's being made into a movie and it's a dopey kids book."

Donna rolled her eyes. "They really are amazing. J.K. Rowling is great. I'm on Chapter 5 of Goblet of Fire right now."

She opened the book and fingered the pages gently as if it were made out of spun gold. What in the hell is wrong with this country when a children's book can cause this sort of panic? Oh wait a minute, I'm talking about a country who's children have adored Barney, Power Rangers, the Teletubbies, and now this crap from England.

Donna turns seriously to CJ as if she's ready to discuss something deep when she says:

"You see his parents were killed when he was a baby by Lord Voldemort."

Oh my God. I've gone to hell and there's no return trip.

"But he survived because of his mother's love. So the Headmaster sends him to live with his muggle cousins."

"Muggle?" CJ asks.

"In the magic world, people who aren't magic are called muggles."

"As opposed to. . .?"

She throws me a dirty look. "So anyway he ends up at his cousin's house, the Dursleys, and they absolutely hate him. He's treated like a piece of dirt."

I sneak a peek at her through my eyes. Donna looks positively crestfallen but even CJ still has a skeptical look on her face. I think Donna sees it as well because the next thing I hear is:

"CJ really. You should try the books. They're really good."

"Really?" She's relenting. I can feel it. "Well maybe just one." She adds quickly. "I don't know how fast I can finish it though." I glance at her. She's fingering the book lightly and eyeing the elaborate cover. Oh no. Not another convert.

"Donna," I speak up, "Exactly what kind of books did you read while you were in school."

Her face scrunches up as she tries to remember. "I don't know. Everything. The Scarlet Letter, The Old Man and the Sea, For Whom the Bell Tolls."

"Aha! So you're a Hemingway fan."

She wrinkles her nose in disgust. "God no, I can't stand Hemingway. He's for some people just not me."

I guess Sam is back from wherever he was because next I hear him say:

"I thought the Scarlet Letter was a rather entertaining book."

CJ gives him a look. You know the look. The one that's going what kind of nutcase are you? look.

"Ugh. I hated the Scarlet Letter. Now Gone with the Wind. That's a book."

I snicker. I can't help it. How can anyone take Gone with the Wind seriously? It's a melodrama about a woman who will 'live to see another day'. How are you supposed to take that seriously?

"CJ what masochistic English professor assigned you that dross to read? I can't believe you even read it." I ask her.

She glares back. "For your information, I read that story when I was 10 years old."

My mouth drops. I don't think I'm the only one.

"In what skewed universe would you want to read that story when you were 10?" Sam asks.

CJ sits up defensively. "I really liked that story. Anyway, I didn't even," she mumbles out the rest of the sentence.

"What was that CJ?" Toby has joined in the mix. She's starting to blush. Oh this is good.

"I said I didn't even know what the book was about when I read it, it just kind of popped in my head and I decided I would read it." Her words come out in a rush but I can still here what she says.

Toby repeats slowly. "You didn't know what the story was about so you decided to read it anyway?"

"What you never had a book you just read?" CJ shots back.

"No, not when I was 10," he countered lightly. He tipped his head back as if he was thinking deeply about what he was going to say next. "I enjoyed The Caine Mutiny."

Sam and I smile. Now there was a book. CJ and Donna wrinkle their nose at the title.

"I remember that book," Donna said. "It was almost as bad Lord of the Flies." Sam, Toby, and I all gape at her. I'm the first to speak.

"How can you not like Lord of the Flies?"

Donna looks at me as if I've grown a second head. "How can I like it? It's stupid. I can't get around the stupid plot. It's one jumbled mess. The book is awful."

"And this coming from a woman who reads books with ya-ya in the title and a book intended for 8-year olds." I counter.

"To each his own," CJ pipes up. "As for the Caine Mutiny, the plot was enjoyable but even I got tired of the battle scenes."

"What battle scenes?" Sam asks.

CJ tilts her head to the side thinking. "Well come to think of it, they didn't really have much in the way of war in the story unless you want to count that time in the Pacific and the hurricane." She clicks her hand. "Fine, it was acceptable."

"So Josh," Donna pounces on me next. "What's your book?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well everyone has chosen their book of choice from school. CJ likes Gone with the Wind, Toby likes The Caine Mutiny, and Sam likes The Scarlet Letter." She looks back at Sam strangely. He immediatley answers.

"I meant The Scarlet Letter was written well. My book would have to be Hamlet."

We all smiled at Sam's choice. Who wouldn't? The Prince of Denmark was a perfect replication of Sam. The honor and all of that crap.

"I don't remember hearing your choice Donna," I tell her. "I don't believe Harry Potter was around when you were in school."

She burns with embarrassment. "Emma."

"Who?"

"You know the book Clueless was based on."

"Sorry if I don't keep up with movies about teenagers."

She rolls her eyes at my 'cluelessness'. "Clueless? You know? Alicia Silverstone & Paul Rudd." I know I must have a blank look in my eye but Sam comes to my rescue.

"Oh right. I saw that."

Or not.

Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at him. His face is turning red. "I was going out with Miranda at the time. She had a thing for teenage movies," he mumbles.

"As long as she wasn't a teenager Sam." Toby says quietly. CJ kicks him in the leg. She places a hand on Donna's arm.

"I read that." Donna smiles. CJ looks back at me. "So what is it loverboy?"

"What's what?"

She rolls her eyes at what she perceives is my absentmindedness. "Book Josh."

"Hmmm." I have to think about this for a second. CJ laughs. "What was it Josh?" I really am clueless. What was my favorite book? Sam had taken Hamlet from me. I wasn't a huge fan of Shakespeare but there was a few note-worthy things he wrote. I had it.

"Julius Caesar."

CJ looks at me for a second and says, "Sucker for Marc Antony's speech?"

I laugh. She has me pegged.

~THE END.~