By Lacy

"CJ, you seen Donna?"

"Nope." She's sitting with her feet propped up on her desk, a book in one hand and a sandwich in the other. She doesn't take her eyes off the book.

"CJ, I'm serious here," I say. "She hasn't been by recently? Maybe, looking a little angry?"

"I said no, Josh. Jeez, I understood the question."

"Sorry."

"Did something happen? Did you put your foot in it?"

"Big time," I answer, as I wipe my hand across my face.

"What did you do this time?"

"I may have said something about her stuff cluttering up my townhouse."

"You what?"

"And also, about it terrifying me."

"Dear, God. You said these things to her face?"

"Of course not! I'm not that stupid."

"No, just stupid enough to talk about her behind her back."

"It wasn't like that, CJ," I defend.

"What was it like?"

"She only stuck around long enough to hear the down side. She didn't hear the part about how I like having her stuff cluttering up my townhouse. She didn't hear the part about how I think we should look for a bigger place."

"You said that? You want to move in together?"

"Yes, I said that."

"You want to move in together?"

"CJ, I--"

"You want to move in together?"

"Am I supposed to smack you to get you out of your rut?"

"I'm going to keep asking until you answer the question. You want to move in together?" She delivers the question in the exact tone she delivered it the previous three times.

"Yes!" I think I shout, "Yes, I want to move in together."

At this point Carol, who wasn't present for the rest of the conversation, steps into the door, and stares at me with a look of horror.

Seeing that she's obviously jumping to the wrong conclusion, I stutter, "Oh. No. I...I--"

"I don't want to know," she says, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

"You want to move in together?" CJ asks, again.

"Haven't we covered this?"

"So, let me get this straight. You told someone, I'm assuming it was Sam, that Donna's things were cluttering up your place. Donna heard this and took off before you told Sam about how you like having Donna around?"

I am nodding all throughout her interpretation of my problem. "That's it. Do you think I've messed up?"

"Why do I get the feeling that the next fifty years of my life are going to be spent keeping you two together?"

"What should I do, CJ? Shouldn't I give her flowers, or something?"

"Josh, when was the last time you gave Donna flowers?"

I roll my eyes up as I try to remember. Did I give her flowers that time...? Nope. Oh, there was that one time that I-- Damn.

"Let me answer that question for you, Joshua. You've never given her flowers."

"But isn't that what I'm supposed to do in a situation like this?"

"Little tip, Josh. If there's no precedent for flower giving, don't start one with an apology. It'll only make you look pathetic."

"Noted, CJ. Thanks for the tip, but that doesn't answer my question."

"Look, if what you're telling me is true, you have nothing to apologize for. Just tell her truth. Assure her that you love her and you like having her around."

"I can do that," I say with confidence.

"You have to find her first."

"Right," I say, as I reach for the door.

"Josh?" CJ's voice stops me.

"Yeah?"

"Try not screw it up."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"What are friends for?"

I go back to my office to wait for Donna's return. She's probably decided to grab some lunch in the Mess, so she could avoid me for as long as possible. She'll be back as soon as she dreams up the most appropriate revenge.

I sit at my desk to ruminate on all the possibilities. Why did I have to say those things? Not that I didn't mean them -- I did. But I guess I could have come up with a better way of putting it.

I want to be mad at Donna for eavesdropping, but the truth is, I know she didn't do it on purpose. She was probably there to just deliver a message, and was waiting outside the door for the most appropriate moment to interrupt.

She told Ginger she felt sick. I remember the horrifying night when she had to be taken to the hospital. I thought was going to lose her. I've never been as scared as I was that night. Not even when I was the one bleeding on the pavement.

What if I've caused her to have a relapse? What if she's in pain somewhere and needs help? That feeling of helplessness I felt waiting to hear about Donna's condition threatens to overwhelm me again. God, what if I've really screwed up this time?

Deciding that I can't sit here and just do nothing, I leave my office and widen my search. Mentally, I devise a search pattern. I'll go downstairs first. Ainsley's office! That's right. Ainsley mentioned that Donna would often come down there for chats.

I wind my way through the lower level labyrinth, descending staircase after staircase, until I reach the steam pipe distribution venue, and knock on the door.

"Come in," Ainsley's softly accented voice calls.

I poke my head through the door, half expecting Donna to be there ready to hurl heavy objects at me, probably with Ainsley's assistance.

"Hey," I say, brilliantly.

She looks up from her laptop. She appears to have been working intently. "Hey, Josh," she says with a bright voice. "What brings you to this neck of the woods? Is there something you need me to do? Is there a reason why you're not coming all the way in?"

I remember that I've still only got my head poking through the crack in the office door. I swing the door open and step inside. It's important to note that at this point, Ainsley does not appear to be angry with me in any way. I decide to ask anyway.

"I don't suppose Donna's been down her lately? I mean, today?"

"No, why?" She regards me with serious eyes for a moment.

"No reason," I lie.

"Did ya'll have a fight?"

"Not really." She has me squirming and she knows it. Ainsley Hayes, if she ever decided to, would make a damn good litigator.

"So, you thought she might come down here for no reason?"

"Well, you know, to say 'hi'."

"Josh, what happened?"

"I said some things. It's really a long story."

"You were an insensitive jerk."

"I was plenty sensitive," I defend. "She just jumped to conclusions. Look," I redirect, "I just came down here, to ask if you'd seen her. I can clearly see that you haven't, so I'm going to go now."

"Oh, hey," she stops me. "Since you're going back upstairs anyway, could you deliver this to Leo for me?" She holds out a folder.

"Sure," I take it from her. It really is quite a trek back to the upper level.

"Thanks, Josh. Good luck finding Donna."

"Thanks." I slink out of her office. Ainsley Hayes has managed to make me feel interrogated and chastened all at the same time.

While I'm downstairs, I run by the Mess, just to be sure she isn't drowning in Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Nope, no Donna. I check bathrooms, I check conference rooms, I ask everyone who knows her if they've seen her.

Once I reach the ground level, I swing by Leo's office to drop off the folder Ainsley gave me. Leo takes it from me and adjusts the glasses on the tip of his nose. I must be hovering, because he asks, "What is it, Josh?"

"Just a quick question. Have you seen Donna?"

"You lost Donna?"

"Please don't say it like that."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He looks up from the folder and whips the glasses from his face.

"There was a thing," I shrug off.

"A thing?"

"Yeah, a miscommunication thing."

"Do I want to be hearing this?"

"Probably not," I say.

"Oh, for God's sake, did you two have a fight?"

"First of all, Leo, the word 'fight' implies that we were actually speaking to one another at the time."

"You two aren't speaking to each other?"

"We're speaking to each other, we just weren't at the time. There was a miscommunication."

"Now you're starting to talk like Sam."

"It was Sam I was talking to," I say.

Suddenly the light of comprehension dawns in Leo's eyes. "Ah. You were telling Sam something and Donna overheard."

"In a nutshell."

"And now she's mad."

"I don't know what she is; I can't find her. I've looked everywhere."

"Maybe she went home."

Home. Why didn't I think of that?

"Right, home," I say. "I've got to go find her."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you finished vetting Gregersen?"

"I kind of need Donna's help with that." I think I may have a sheepish look on my face.

"Get out," he demands. "Find your assistant and then get back here and get to work.

"Thanks, Leo."

"Just go."

TBC

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