"You didn't buy it, because of what I said, did you?"
Of course not. Why would I buy a dress because he managed to
compliment me? Apologetically, may I add, after that whole self-
worth fiasco.
Then again, why else would I buy an expensive dress that would nearly
cost me an arm and a leg?
"Of course not."
"But I thought it was too expensive."
"So I changed my mind." Good save, Donna.
"I'm not complaining," he smirks. I swear that he's only teasing me,
but his tone only drips heavily of his knowing my hidden secret. If
I only knew what that secret is..
"What was that supposed to mean?" The smirk quickly morphs into
that deer-in-the-headlight face. Is that the third time tonight?
He is almost unwilling to answer that question until.. "Hey, there's
Joey Lucas!"
I instantly roll my eyes. No hard feelings toward the girl, but
anyone that made me say, "gather ye rosebuds" to Joshua Lyman just
didn't belong to my good list.
Josh, of course, doesn't notice my subtle hint of protest against
Miss Lucas, because he insists with a goofy excited look on his
face, "I'm going to go say hi."
And off he goes like a boy heading to the candy store. Donna, remind
yourself to check if he really is a Fulbright scholar. Maybe somehow
he's only faking it, because that organization would not be so dumb
as to give anyone that slow a scholarship.
What am I talking about? Josh is anything but slow. Maybe a little
dense. Disorganized. Short-tempered. But I have to admit, he's
very passionate. Dedicated. Talented. Suave. Sexy..
Sigh.
He'd make a good catch, and unfortunately, most girls only see him as
that. I only hope that Joey Lucas isn't one of those girls. There's
more to Josh than that.
What am I doing?
My pretend date just bailed on me, and I am swimming in self-pity,
because he's perfect? He's my boss for crying out loud.
So he's a friend, too. That's all. Pla-to-nic. Pla-to-nic. Maybe
if I say it again and again, it would have some sort of reality in my
head.
Okay, I confess. Platonic has not quite described my sentiments
about Josh since the shooting. Of course, I'm not that selfish. I
am worried about him. Severely worried to a point that I drive
myself crazy about it. But since the shooting, I see him
differently. When I was at the hospital, all I could think about was
what if I lose him, my answer being that I would be lost without a
purpose in life anymore.
As cheesy and plagiaristic as this may sound, Joshua Lyman completes
me.
And he's looking at me. Turn away, Donna Moss..
Unfortunately, I cannot admit to it. I promise myself that I would
not complicate his life any further than his problems has. I promise
myself that I would place his needs before mine first. I promise
myself that I would lead him to his happiness.
And that happiness is evident right there as he is talking to Joey
Lucas. He belongs with her. Or at least someone that could make him
that happy.
Maybe in some thwarted way, my New Year miracle became Josh's. He's
no love recluse. He doesn't have a place among the loners. He
deserves to be adored and to be loved.
Fear not, there is a silver lining in this for me. Now that he has a
new date, I can go home. So my wish is not completely dead. Comfy
bed, here I come.
"Donna," a male voice that is distinctly familiar calls out from
behind me.
A strong gut feeling tells me to not turn around, but that would be
rude. I turn to look at my caller, and I feel my face pale ten times
worse.
As if I have seen a ghost. Well, he is a ghost, one from my past.
Though I think Josh might call him Dr. Freeride.
"Hello, Caleb."