Aftershocks (4/4)
Josh woke up late the next morning to find Donna staring at him from
a propped elbow.
"Donna!" he said immediately rolling away.
"What?"
"Don't do that," he said putting a hand over his face and
rubbing his eyes.
"Do what?"
"Don't stare at me while I'm sleeping."
She smiled, "I'll keep that in mind."
Josh blushed and she smirked, "For future reference," she
said.
Josh rolled back to face her, tangling their legs together
again. "You slept okay?" he asked, pushing an errant strand of
hair back behind her ear.
Donna closed her eyes and sighed at his touch. "A little, I
think."
Josh cupped his hand to her cheek, running his thumb near her eye.
She opened her eyes. His eyes had taken on a serious look.
"I'm sorry Donna for not talking to you about the
shooting."
She smiled gently. "S'okay."
"No. It's not. The night right after, you were trying to get
me to talk about it and I walked away from you and I was wrong. So
very wrong."
He pulled her hand up with his own. "Instead of calming your
fears and talking about my own, I pulled back and pushed them deep
inside, figuring that I couldn't do my work if I was constantly
thinking of what had happened."
"I understand, Josh."
"I know you understand Donna, that's what made it so easy to
do. But I had no idea how it would affect you. Do you have any idea
how much it scared me to look in your eyes and see absolutely
nothing? And when you wouldn't let me touch you, it made me
realize…"
he said, lifting her palm to his mouth and kissing it.
"Realize what Josh?" she asked, trying to calm her wildly
beating heart.
"How much I need you in my life," he whispered, watching a
slow flush creep up her neck and face. He stopped her before she
could say anything. "And not just as my best friend. And not just
as
my assistant," he added.
"Josh," she whispered, her eyes filling with now familiar
tears.
Josh slowly closed the distance between them, kissing her softly on
lips. He pulled back to study her face. Her eyes fluttered open and
in them he saw the love reflected back from his own. He smiled and
kissed her again. Donna sighed and Josh used the opportunity to
deepen the kiss, reveling in her sweetness, wondering how he had
survived for so long without kissing her.
Several minutes later, Josh pulled back. He wiped the tears off her
cheeks and the ones which had run from her face onto
his. Donna sniffled and he smiled. "I love you Donna. I have for
a very long time. It just took a bunch of bullet whizzing
around my head to make me realize." Donna smiled, but her eyes
widened when he mentioned the bullets flying.
Josh backpeddaled. "Maybe that wasn't such a good way to put
it, huh?"
"No kidding," she said, pulling him closer. She had almost
lost him. She had almost lost this incredible man before she'd
even gotten a chance to tell him how she felt. She couldn't let
another second pass by without telling him. "I love you too
Josh. And I was so afraid I'd lost you that night."
"I knew that night. I knew I loved you and I could see the love
for me in your eyes, but I was so stupid and now you're suffering
because of it."
"Josh. Please don't blame yourself," Donna said, putting
her palm against his cheek. "I probably would have had nightmares
anyway."
"Maybe," he said, turning his head to press a kiss into her
palm, "But maybe if your subconscious wasn't guessing at
what happened, it would be easier to deal with. So, I want to tell
you what I saw."
"Are you sure? You don't have to tell me, Josh."
"Yes, I have to tell you Donna. You're the only person who
would understand. You're the only person I want to
understand."
Donna kissed his lips. "I love you Josh," she breathed into
him.
"I love you too," he whispered back, settling her against his
chest as he rolled onto his back.
He then proceeded to tell her about that night. He tried to keep some
things back, but she asked questions and eventually Josh told her
every horrible detail. He told her how he felt to watch Leo's
body spin away as the bullet tore into him and how he kept seeing
Sam's blood on the ground everytime he closed his eyes. Donna
held
him tightly, crying with him as they began the slow process of
healing.
***
Donna woke up in the late afternoon alone in her bed. She wondered if
she'd dreamt it all, but she rolled over onto her other pillow
and could smell Josh's scent lingering there. She smiled, hugging
the
pillow to herself.
Her stomach suddenly growled and she realized something smelled
wonderful in her kitchen. She pushed the covers back,
grabbed her robe and walked out of the room, wrapping her hair in a
ponytail holder. She stopped in her tracks when she
noticed her small dining room table was set for two. Josh was
standing in her kitchen, barefoot in jeans and a t-shirt,
cutting up fruit.
"Good morning," he said, silently laughing at her amazement.
"Or should I say good afternoon?"
"Josh? What is all this?"
"Well, while you were lazing about, I snuck out for
groceries."
"You what?"
"Here," he said, walking towards her. "Drink some juice
and sit down. I don't make my fabulous french toast for just
anyone
and you're about to be the recipient of my generosity." He
kissed her
and pushed her towards her table.
"You made french toast?"
"You sound unimpressed Donnatella," he shouted from the
kitchen.
"I'm impressed you even know how to turn on a stove
Joshua," she retorted back, fingering the small bouquet of
flowers
on her table.
She was sipping her juice as he came up behind her. "I'm
insulted. I do know how to read a manual and, after only a little
practice, I was able to figure out what all the knobs did. Sit,
please."
Donna did as she was told and Josh laid a plate with heaps of french
toast in front of her. He disappeared into the kitchen again,
bringing out a fruit salad, syrup and a pitcher of orange juice.
Donna looked at him in amazement. He smirked, disappeared again and
returned with a pot of tea for her and a cup of coffee for himself.
He seated himself next to her. "You really ought to keep a better
stocked fridge," he said, helping himself to several
pieces of french toast.
"How'd you even know where the grocery store was around
here?" she asked, cutting off a bit of french toast. "Oh,
Josh this is
amazing."
His eyes lit up at her praise. "Thank you."
"I'm sorry I didn't have any food. I haven't really
had much of an appetite."
"I noticed," he replied quietly. "But now you've got
enough food to feed an army. I only had to wander around lost for
about half an hour before a kind person directed me to the grocery
store."
Donna smiled. "So, if someone hadn't pointed it out to you,
you would still be wandering around aimlessly? Why didn't you
just
wake me up?"
"You were sleeping and, no, I would not still be wandering around
aimlessly. I was never wandering aimlessly. I had a destination. I
just didn't know how to get there."
"Story of your life, huh?" asked Donna sipping her juice, a
teasing glint in her eyes.
"Well, I finally figured out how to get to this place with you,
so I guess I'm slowly learning," he answered back.
Their eyes locked. Donna whispered, "I love you," but no
sound came out of her mouth she was so overcome with love for this
man. Josh echoed her sentiment, mouthing "I love you." It was
only
another second before their lips came together. Josh licked the syrup
from the corners of her lips and felt himself drowning as Donna's
lips parted and he delved inside. All thoughts of breakfast were lost
as Josh pulled Donna up against him and began steering her into the
bedroom.
She stopped him, tugging his arm as she started kneeling on the
floor. "No Josh. Right here."
"Donna…" he pleaded, knowing that he couldn't wait
another second for her and not really wanting their first time making
love to be on her floor.
Donna's eyes sparkled up at him. "The floor's clean Josh.
I may not buy groceries but I do know how to use a vaccuum," she
whispered, pushing his t-shirt up and over his head.
He studied her face. "You know," he said, cradling her to him
as he headed to the floor and settling down alongside her, burying
his head into her neck. "I never figured out how to run my
vaccuum.
Maybe you could come over and show me sometime?"
"Shut up and kiss me Joshua," she hissed, biting his earlobe
teasingly.
Josh did as he was told and there wasn't much talk after that.
***
They finally made it to the bedroom, where Josh woke at 2:30 a.m.,
nearly 24 hours since he'd arrived at Donna's. Thankful that
it was the weekend and vaguely wondering if anyone had been trying to
find him during the day, his attention was drawn back to Donna as she
stirred in her sleep.
She was on her right side, wrapped in Josh's arms. Josh pulled
her body closer to him, running his hand down her back and settling
against her hip. "Shhh, Donna," he whispered. "No more
nightmares. No more nightmares for either us." And he drifted off
to
sleep.
THE END