The time passed quickly as Donna and Josh talked animatedly. The topics
of discussion were mostly about their coworkers. They spoke of how they knew
that CJ talked to the fish that Danny had given her, even though she insisted
that she did no such thing; they discussed the time Leo fell asleep in a
chair and then slipped off of it during the President's lecture on Koala
Bears; they talked of when Sam wore two different color socks to work and
then insisted that he'd gotten a memo saying that day had been deemed
"Unmatched Socks Day" by the President; they reminisced of the time the
President beat Toby in foosball and how Toby argued for an hour over his
belief that he'd lost because his soccer men's legs were shorter than those
of the President; and, of course, they talked of the President running his
bike into a tree.

Donna and Josh laughed almost nonstop, thoroughly enjoying each others
company. Donna turned to Josh with a mischievous smile. "I remember very well
something that you did that was extremely funny."

Josh smiled. "You have a wide variety at your disposal. I've become
quite good at embarrassing myself."

Donna grinned. "Oh, I have one in particular in mind. I am sure you
remember the time that you got drunk, slept in your clothes and were then
forced to wear Sam’s yellow fisherman hip-waders, while you waited for your
clothes to come back from the cleaners. You made a wonderful first impression on Joey Lucas."

Josh laughed at the memory. "I sure do remember that. I also seem to
remember a certain female member of the staff stalking David Hasselhoff
during our trip to LA."

Donna blushed and raised a hand in her defense. "I was not stalking him,
Joshua. I was merely playing the role of an interested fan."

Josh grinned at her. "He was about two seconds and a creepy phone call
away from taking a restraining order out on you."

Donna laughed out loud at that, while she swatted his arm. "He was not!"

Donna's laughter subsided long enough for her to ask with a twinkle in
her eye, "By the way, Josh, how's that secret plan to fight inflation coming
along?"

Josh grinned, while shaking his head. "I'm never going to live that one
down, am I?"

Donna shook her head at him, her smile wide. "Not in this lifetime."

A comfortable silence had fallen between them when they suddenly heard a
pop that seemed to come from the car's rear left wheel. The car began to
slow and Josh carefully moved it onto the shoulder of the road. Donna bit her
lip, as she looked at him. "I think we have a flat."

Josh nodded and exited the car. He went to the rear and confirmed the
fact that they did have a flat. "Yup, it's flat." He announced as he got back
into the car.

Donna threw him a questioning look. "Well, what are you waiting for?
Aren't you going to change it?"

Josh shook his head. "I would...If I had a spare."

Donna looked at him disbelief. "I cannot believe you, Josh! After your
tire blew three months ago on our way to Kathy's birthday party, I repeatedly
reminded you for over a month to get a new spare."

Josh winced at the hard look on her face and shrugged. "I guess it
slipped my mind."

Donna shook her head. "It constantly amazes me how you help run this
country when you can't even run your own life."

Josh nodded. "Yes, that never ceases to amaze me either." Donna rolled
her eyes and sighed. Josh continued, as his eyes roamed the desolate stretch
of road they were on and the snow that was ravaging it. "Well, I guess we
have no choice but to walk until we see the first signs of humanity."

Donna's eyes widened at him. "Walk? You want us to walk on a road in the
middle of nowhere through the cold and snow?"

Josh nodded. "Well, I was thinking that would be a better idea than
waiting here until one of us freezes to death and the other is forced to eat
him or her to survive."

Donna clenched her teeth, as she opened her door. "I cannot believe this."

Josh smiled, noticing how pretty she was even when angry.

He exited the car and joined her on the side of the road. They began
their long, cold walk. They had walked for what seemed like an eternity,
when they finally spotted a convenience store off in the distance. They
picked up their pace and were soon approaching it. Donna sighed in relief.
"Oh, thank God. One more minute and I definitely would have lost something to
frostbite." Josh nodded in agreement, as he held the door open for her and
they entered the warmth of the store.

They both walked over to the store clerk, an old man about sixty, and
stopped in front of him. Josh spoke. "You wouldn't happen to know if we'd be
able to get a tow truck out here, would you?"

The elderly man chuckled and shook his head. "Nope, no way...Not on this
road, in this weather."

Donna sighed and turned to Josh. "How far do you think we are from the
cabin?"

"Not that far at all, actually. But too far to walk in this cold and
snow." Josh replied. "I guess we're stuck here until the snow subsides a
little. Once it does that, then we can walk the rest of the way to the cabin,
get one of my friend's cars that has a spare, then drive back to mine and change the flat."

"Josh, do you have any idea how long we could be here? We could be here
the whole weekend. I knew I should have said no. I could be at home
watching a Lifetime movie right now, but instead I am trapped in a
convenience store with you."

Josh chuckled. "You watch Lifetime movies on Friday nights?"

Donna looked down. "If it's been slow on the social front I do." Then
she snickered. "Like you're any better? I am sure you just watch some game
on ESPN."

Josh smiled and nodded. "Nah, I'm more of a Nickelodeon kind of guy."

Donna laughed at him, as they both sat down on the floor next to each
other. "I am starving."

Josh gestured with his arm around the room. "Well, you've come to the
right place. It's no White House banquet, but they've got the best beef
jerky around."

Donna smiled at him, as she watched him get to his feet. He began to
roam the store for several minutes, she even lost sight of him for a few of
those minutes. As he approached her, he placed a ten dollar bill on the
counter and continued on his way. He knelt down to her, his hands behind his
back. He revealed his left hand first, which held a Kit Kat bar in it.

She smiled at him, as she reached for the candy bar. "Thank you. I guess
you were listening when I said it was my favorite."

Josh nodded. "More often than not, I do listen to everything you say.
You just say an awful lot." Donna laughed and rewarded Josh with a light
punch in the arm.

"Okay, so what's in the other hand?" Donna asked, her curiosity piqued.

Josh revealed his other hand, which held a styrofoam container of hot
chocolate and a small bag of marshmallows. Donna's smile widened at him. She
was quite amazed at how considerate Josh was being. He handed her the hot
chocolate. "That should thaw you out sufficiently."

Donna took the lid off and Josh dropped some marshmallows into it. He
smiled at her. "Just like Grandma Moss used to make."

Donna took a long sip of the hot chocolate, allowing it to slowly trail
down her throat and warm her up. She then tilted her head and smiled
longingly at him.

Josh felt uncomfortable under her gaze. "Why are you doing that, Donna?
Why are you looking at me like that?"

Donna spoke softly to him. "You can be incredibly sweet when you want to
be, Josh."

Josh blushed a little at her comment and then tried to make light of it,
as a gentle smile pulled at his lips. "Let's just keep that between the two
of us. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation."

Donna nodded at him. "Okay, it'll stay just between us...Thank you for
all of this."

Josh nodded and then found himself just watching her. He had never
realized just how beautiful she was until that moment...Or maybe he just
never let himself realize it before. Her blonde hair was wet from the snow
and it was falling across her face in damp strands. Her fair skin seemed to be glowing and Josh knew that he'd never seen anyone so perfect before. There was an innocence about Donna that
he'd never quite noticed... And she had the amazing ability to look as
fragile as glass and as strong as steel all in the same moment. Josh
marveled at her.

Josh could not believe the thoughts that were running through his head
about Donna. He'd never looked at her in this way before. But maybe Sam was
right, maybe he had never allowed himself to see her in this light. Josh
shook his head, as his mind became increasingly confused with these new
feelings for Donna.

"Josh?" Donna called. She gently touched his arm. "Josh, where were you
just now?"

Josh looked at her and blinked a few times. "Huh? Oh, I was just
thinking that my friends might be worried when we don't show up."

Donna looked questioningly at him, but didn't press. "Actually, I just
thought of something very stupid of us."

Josh smiled. "Oh, yeah, and what would that be?"

"The phones. We didn't even think of calling your friends. They could
have come and gotten us by now. This country sure is lucky to have sharp
minds like us on its side." Donna finished with a grin that Josh returned.

He too couldn't believe that they hadn't thought of this yet. Josh stood
up, walked up to a pay phone and was about to insert some change when the
store clerk stopped his motion. "No point in doing that. The phone lines are
down because of the snow."

Josh sighed heavily and took his place next to Donna. "Well, there goes
that brilliant idea." Josh leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I can't
believe that we are going to have to spend all night here. We should be
curled up on couch in a warm cabin right now, not leaning out heads against a
bag of Cheetos."

Donna laughed at Josh, as she studied his face closely. His eyes were
still closed so she could feel free to admire him as much as she pleased.
Josh continued. "I'm really sorry that I got you into this, Donna. You're
right, you should be home right now, watching a Lifetime movie about babies
switched at birth. You shouldn't be here with me."

Donna smiled at him. "Josh, don't be so hard on yourself. You couldn't
have known it would turn out this way. True, you are the reason we had no
spare, but I'm not one to place blame."

Josh grinned, while opening one eye and turning his head towards her.
"Gee, Donna, you really know how to reassure a guy. I hope you never work on
a suicide hotline."

Donna laughed and then spoke softly to him. "Truthfully, Josh, there
isn't any other place I'd rather be right now than right here with you."

Josh opened up both of his eyes and smiled at her. Then he whispered,
"Oh, Donna, that's just too sad. You really have to get out more."

Donna's mouth opened and she playfully shoved him. "Oh, you! Here I am
being nice and you have to go and be Josh."

Josh grinned at her. "But I thought I could be incredibly sweet."

Donna turned away from him, raising her nose into the air and pretending
to be upset with him. "I think the part of my brain that made me say that
hadn't fully thawed yet."

Josh laughed and leaned his head back against the snacks, once again
shutting his eyes. "I am definitely taking Sam next year."

Donna shook her head and grabbed a bag of Cheetos. She proceeded to hit
him lightly over the head numerous times, while he tried to block her. They
were both laughing, and Donna spoke through giggles.
"You...are...just...impossible."

The laughter was still in full force and Donna was still hitting Josh
with the Cheetos, when they heard the store clerk’s voice. "You know you're
going to have to pay for those there Cheetos, right?"

Josh and Donna looked at each other for a split second, before erupting
into a fit of laughter once again.

*-*-*-*-*-*

The time passed slowly and Josh and Donna were now going stir crazy. They
were so used to their busy lifestyles that they knew very little of how to
just relax and do absolutely nothing. Donna was pacing near the door. She
stopped and pressed her face against the glass. "Josh, let's go outside."

Josh looked up from his task of categorizing the shapes in the Lucky
Charms cereal and spoke with surprise. "Are you crazy? It's freezing out
there, Donna."

Donna nodded. "I know, but it's driving me insane being cooped up in here
with nothing to do."

Josh shrugged and gestured to his neat piles of Lucky Charms. "Maybe
that's because you haven't put your time to good use, such as I have."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh right, the world is now a better place because
Joshua Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff of the United States, organized the Lucky
Charms!"

Josh smiled. "Well, when you say it like that, it just sounds silly."

Donna walked over to him and took his hand in hers. She began to tug on
it. "Please, Josh, let's go outside for a little while. Come on, let's have a
little fun."

Josh shook his head and didn't budge. "Donna, my idea of fun does not
involve losing any toes to frostbite. But if you want, I *am* willing to
walk up and down the aisles, so that you can follow behind me in your usual
annoying way."

Donna sighed and dropped his hand. "Fine, then stay in here. I will be
outside with Mother Nature."

Josh nodded, not looking up from his task. "Good, while you're out there
ask her when she plans on stopping this snow and releasing us from captivity."

Donna rolled her eyes and stepped outside. Once out there, an idea hit
her. She grabbed some snow and rolled it in her gloved hands until it was in
the shape of a ball. She smiled as she opened the door and called out his
name. "Oh Josh."

Josh looked up just in time to see the snowball hit him in the face. He
laughed as he wiped at his face. He scurried to his feet and looked at her
with a grin. "You better watch out now, Miss Moss. I was the snowball
champion of Hyland Elementary School, three years running."

Donna laughed and then turned around to run. Josh quickly followed her
outside and they both began to make snowballs. They hurled them at each
other, as their laughs filled the cold night's air. Josh had just made a
monster snowball and was coming at Donna with it, when she ducked. In his
attempt to hit her, he instead slipped on the snow. As he fell, his hand
instinctively reached out to Donna and she came tumbling down with him...Or,
more appropriately, on top of him. They were both breathing hard as they
found themselves staring into one another's eyes. Josh brushed back some of
Donna's hair and was just about to give into his urge to kiss her when his
mind was suddenly filled with his oath to prove to Sam that they were just
friends. He couldn't understand it, but something inside of him just wouldn't
let Donna get any closer than she already was.

Josh shifted beneath her and Donna realized that he wanted her to get up.
She hesitantly removed herself, saddened that she had just missed her one and
only chance to kiss Josh.

Josh sat up and whispered an embarrassed, "I'm sorry for making you
fall," to Donna. She simply nodded in response.

They both got to their feet, while brushing the snow from their clothes.
Donna was searching for a way to return the level of comfort between them
back to normal. She looked down at the snow. "Did you ever make snow angels
when you were a kid?"

Josh nodded, still slightly lost in the moment that had passed him by.
"Yeah, my sister and I used to love to make them."

Donna turned to him with a surprised look. "Your sister? Josh, I didn't
know you have a sister."

Josh slowly shook his head, his eyes focusing on the ground. "That's
because I don't have one anymore. She died when we were children."

Donna gasped softly and then came closer to him. She touched his cheek
gently and he lifted his eyes to meet hers. She saw the tears glistening in
his eyes. She spoke in a barely audible whisper, "I'm sorry."

Then Donna slowly brought her arms around Josh's neck in a hug. He held
her closely, leaning his chin on her shoulder and closing his eyes so tightly
that a few tears escaped.

When they finally separated, Josh wiped at his face. Donna looked at him
worriedly. "Why didn't you ever tell me about her and what happened?"

Josh ignored her eyes. "It happened a long time ago, Donna. There's
nothing to tell."

Donna shook her head. "I know that's not true, Josh. I can see in your
eyes that this has been eating at you for years."

She came closer to him and he spoke softly. "Don't, Donna, please. I
don't want to talk about this."

Donna was relentless. She knew that a piece of Josh had never been free
because of this portion of his past. Donna had always known that there was a
part of Josh that was closed off to the rest of the world and now she was
beginning to find out why. She spoke softly to him. "Josh, I'm your friend,
but sometimes it seems like I don't know you at all. There are times when
you get this look in your eyes and you seem like you're in another place,
another time. There are so many things that I don't know about you and there
are so many things that I do know that don't make any sense. I want to know
who you are, Josh. I want to know what made the man I see standing before
me...A man I admire more than anyone else."

Josh scoffed at that. He looked directly into her eyes. "I don't
deserve your admiration, Donna."

Donna forcefully shook her head. "Yes, you do. Look at what you've
done, Josh, look at where you are. You fight for what you believe in, you
fight for those who can't. I admire you for that...I admire you for your
courage."

Josh shook his head, a bitter laugh following out his mouth.
"Courage?...I'm a coward, Donna!...I always have been!"

Donna was startled by his outburst, but tried to remain calm. "Why do you
say that?"

Josh looked into her eyes and spoke in a husky whisper. "Because only a
coward allows his sister to die in a fire, while he escapes unharmed."

Donna's eyes filled with tears as she realized the burden Josh had been
carrying all of this time. "You were a child, Josh. There's nothing you
could have done. It wasn't your fault."

Josh shook his head and spoke, his voice cracking. "That's just it,
Donna, it was my fault...The whole thing was...The fire was my fault."

Donna eyes widened as she realized that his burden was even heavier than
she could have imagined. She took his hand in hers and spoke softly.
"Please, tell me what happened."

Josh looked into the kind, concerned of eyes of Donna. For the first time
since the fire, he could feel himself opening up. He had never told anyone
close to him, besides his parents, about this and his feelings regarding it.
He was too afraid of being judged, too afraid that behind their understanding
words he'd see their true feelings, he'd see the pity, the disbelief, the
blame. He was too afraid that they'd look into his eyes and see nothing but
his cowardly act. But for the first time he was looking at a person that
just wanted to understand him, that just wanted to help him. He trusted her
with the truth.

Josh swallowed hard, as he began in a soft voice. Donna's eyes never
left his as she listened intently. "When I was six and my sister, Joanie, was
twelve, my parents left her home to baby-sit me. She hated baby-sitting me
because I never listened to her. I had repeatedly asked her for popcorn that
night, but she refused to make me any. So I decided to make it for myself.
I got out the popcorn popper, poured the popcorn in, plugged it into the
outlet and turned it on. Then I went downstairs to play with my trucks. Soon,
I...I had forgotten all about the popcorn. A little while later, I felt
sleepy, so I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. My sister laid down on
the other couch and also drifted off. The next time I opened my eyes, the
house was filled with smoke. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my
face. I was so scared and I panicked. I ran outside through our screen
door. I...I never thought to try and wake Joanie. I guess a part of me
thought she was already waiting outside for me. That part of me soon
vanished as I frantically searched the yard for her...But I couldn't find her
and I knew she was still inside. It was at that moment that I froze in place
and didn't move until the firemen arrived and forced me from my spot. I
never tried to go back in and get her...I never even attempted it. By the
time they got to her, it was too late."

Josh paused, catching his breath and wiping at a tear. Donna was just
staring at him in awe, as the tears rolled down her face. Josh began again.
"After we buried my sister, my parents asked me if I knew what had happened.
I told them everything, every last bit. And I've never again told another
soul all of it until now. I couldn't bear to again. They said all of the
right things, but I saw how the look in their eyes changed after I told them.
They told me it wasn't my fault; they told me I couldn't have done anything
to save her. But their eyes betrayed their words. I could see that they
blamed me, I could see that they thought I was a coward. They never could
have punished me as much as I punished myself, but their every look and their
every word held a sadness that I knew I had put there, and that made me hurt
more than anything else ever could. I realized that I had ruined my family,
I had forever changed them. I had hurt the people I love the most because of
one stupid, indulgent act and then another cowardly one. I guess that's when
I knew I could never let anyone get close enough for me to hurt them like
that again."

As Josh said the last part, he realized he had never admitted that to
himself before. This was the reason he ran away from every serious
relationship. He was too scared to hurt someone that he loved again. So
Josh had always kept his distance. He'd build friendships, but stop them
before the point of no return. He'd have relationships with women, but would
always find someway to end them before they got too close for him to handle.
He hadn't realized it until that moment...The man he was had been shaped by a
past that he couldn't seem to escape.

Donna swallowed hard, searching for the words she needed to repair the
broken man before her. This had explained a lot about Josh. It helped her
understand him and the things he did so much better now. She began softly, as
she forced Josh's eyes to look into hers. "Josh, you don't deserve the pain
that you've given yourself, the guilt you've made yourself live with for all
of these years. The fire was an accident. You did something wrong, you made
a mistake. That's what kids do."

Josh shook his head, as he stared at her blankly. "Most kids don't make
mistakes that kill their sisters."

Donna shook her head at him. "You couldn't have known that your mistake
would lead to her death, Josh. Your sister wouldn't want you to blame
yourself. You can't change what happened, but you can change how you deal
with it from now on. You can honor your sister in that way."

Josh looked down at his hands. "She's the reason I went into politics. I
wanted to help others the way I didn't help her."

Donna nodded, placing her hands over his. "And you have. You've helped
so many people, Josh, so many children. That's the good that's come from
this tragedy."

Josh closed his eyes, shaking his head. "No good came from this, Donna.
My sister died and I did nothing to stop it. My parents looked at me with
pain in their eyes and hearts for the rest of their lives. I caused all of it
and there wasn't even a scratch on me, not a scar to be found."

Donna shook her head and spoke in a whisper. "Can't you see that's not
true? You've lived with a pain that no one should have to carry around. You
have scars that people can't see, Josh. You've punished yourself for all of
these years. Don't you think it's time that you let yourself have some
peace?"

Josh ran a hand down his face. "My sister never got to live a life past
the age of twelve because of me, the least I can do is carry around the guilt
and pain I deserve for the rest of my life."

Donna shook her head at him and spoke softly, but with determination.
"No, no, Josh, it's not right. You are a good man. You deserve to live a
life filled with happiness. You've paid for your sins of the past, now it's
time to let them go."

Josh looked at her, a sense of hope now present in his eyes that had
disappeared after that fateful night. He spoke, his voice cracking and
filled with the innocence of a child. "You think I can do that? You think
it'd be okay?"

Donna smiled comfortingly at him. "Yes, I do. I think your sister would
have wanted you to live your life to the fullest in honor of her."

Josh swallowed around a lump in his throat, as he felt the burden that
had overtaken his heart and soul slowly lessen. He looked into Donna's eyes.
"I never thought I could tell anyone all of this. I thought they'd look at me
differently, I thought they'd see me as defined by those acts. But I don't
see that in your eyes, Donna. You tried to understand."

Donna smiled slightly at him. "I understand you a lot better now, Josh.
You've never been free because of this, have you? You've never let anyone
get that close again because of this."

Josh looked away from her, surprised that she could see him so well. He
spoke, his throat closing up again. "I couldn't risk hurting someone I love
like that again. That I won't do, Donna...I can't."

"But you have to, Josh. You'll never find the peace you need, the love
and happiness you deserve unless you let yourself." Donna responded.

Josh only shook his head and whispered, "I can't," while avoiding her
eyes. Then he quickly walked past her and back into the convenience store.

Donna stood rooted in her spot for a few moments. She knew Josh had made
progress, but something was still stopping him from letting himself be happy.
Donna swore to herself that she wouldn't give up until he had freed himself
completely.

She then walked back into the store and sat down next to Josh. Without a
word, she gently brought his head to rest on her shoulder and then she leaned
her head against his.


To be Continued...