The song "Smile" is the property of Lonestar and
their record label. No copyright infringement is intended.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That evening after all of the day’s work was
finished, Leo called both Toby and CJ to his office.
“Have a seat.” Leo said as Margaret let them in.
“Margaret, you can go home now.”
Margaret flashed Toby and CJ a sympathetic smile as
she closed the door.
“Okay, I guess that both of you know why I wanted to
talk to you. I heard what Sam said to you today,
Toby, in fact I heard the entire conversation. So I
have one question for the two of you. Is it true?”
“Yeah, Leo it’s true. Toby answered.
“How *long* has this been going on?” Leo asked.
“Six weeks.” CJ replied.
“Six weeks, SIX WEEKS. And I’m just now finding this
out!”
“Leo,” CJ said, “we wanted to see exactly what this
was before we told anyone.”
“Yes, we thought it was better no one knew. If it
didn’t work out then we could handle this ourselves.”
Toby said.
“How serious is it?” Leo asked.
Toby and CJ glanced at each other before answering.
“I think that it has the potential to be very
serious.” Toby answered.
“Yes it does.” CJ said quietly.
“I see. You know I thought both of you were a hell
of a lot smarter then this.” Leo said.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Toby
asked.
“We have a re election campaign to fight next year.
We DON’T need any soap operatic situations among the
staff. The press will have a damn field day with
this. I hate to say this, but you’ve got to end it.”
“Leo...” CJ said in disbelief. Toby just glared at
Leo.
“I’m giving you forty-eight hours to end it. No
arguments. You can go now.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CJ had spent the entire day in disbelief after the
meeting with Leo the night before. It was eight
o’clock and she found herself at the door to Toby’s
apartment afraid to ring the bell. They had not
spoken all day, and she didn’t know what to make of
Leo’s ultimatum or Toby’s reaction to it. She finally
worked her courage up and rang the doorbell.
“I know I probably shouldn’t be here, but we need to
talk.” She said when he opened the door.
“No, it’s okay. Come in.”
“Thanks.”
“Would you like something to drink or anything.”
“No I really just wanted to talk to you about
everything.”
“I don’t even know where to start.” Toby said.
“Neither do I. There are a few things I’m certain
of, I don’t want to lose you.” CJ choked on the tears
she was trying hard not to shed.
Toby walked to where she was standing, and put his
arms around her. “Okay, lets get one thing clear.
Whatever happens you are not going to lose me
completely.”
“Are you saying we should continue to date secretly?”
“No, if Leo found out... I would like nothing more
than to tell him that our personal lives are none of
his, or anyone else’s damn business.”
“So would I. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. Forty-eight hours is not enough damn
time. Especially when it’s something you really don’t
want to face.”
“Yeah, I know. The only thing I can think of is...”
“NO! I know what you are thinking. Neither of us is
going to give Leo or anyone else the satisfaction of
resigning.”
“Okay. Then we’re back at square one.”
“And no real choice but to obey Leo’s idiotic
proclamation.”
“Yeah. Oh, I hate this.”
“So do I.” Toby said caressing her face as he spoke.
“Then I guess this is goodbye.”
Toby was silent for a moment. He closed his eyes and
replied. “I guess so.”
“Goodbye.” CJ whispered and then leaned over to kiss
him. He pulled her closer to him as they kissed.
“This probably isn’t wise is it?” She said.
“Probably not. But I don’t care, do you?”
“No...”
“Shh,” he said, covering her lips with is fingers,
“no more words. Tonight we can shut the world out. I
don’t want to think about anything else.” With that
he held his hand out to her. She put her hand in his
and they walked into the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When CJ woke she found herself still tightly wrapped
in Toby’s arms. She turned and saw that he was still
sleeping. She slipped quietly from the bed, and
prepared to leave. When she reached the door, she
heard Toby quietly call her name.
“Yeah.” She said as she turned around to face him.
“We need to talk. What happened tonight is between
us. We kept everything else secret, and we’ll keep
tonight secret. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Listen, when all of this is over. Oh, what I’m
trying to say...I’m not doing any damn good at this
but, one last dance. I want to say goodbye.” Toby
held his hand out to her.
“Toby, I don’t know...”
“Please.”
“Okay.”
Toby turned his CD player on and took CJ into his
arms. She put her arms tightly around him and rested
her head on his shoulder. As the song started to
play, they just held each other. As she listened to
the lyrics, CJ fought to keep the tears from falling.
Kiss me once for the good times baby
Kiss me twice for goodbye
You can’t help how you don’t feel
And it doesn’t matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
‘Cause that’s how I want you to remember me
I’m gonna smile
‘Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
I’m gonna smile
‘Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile
“CJ,” Toby said softly as they were dancing, “when
all of this is over...”
“No, please don’t say it. Don’t make a promise
neither of us knows if we can keep. It’s already
painful enough. I just can’t take hearing what I know
you’re going to say. Goodbye.” She broke away from
him. She walked to the door, as she opened the door
she turned and gave him one last tear-filled look,
then she left. Toby stared at the closed door for a
long time. He then sat down on the couch, and dropped
his head into his hands. CJ was still in tears when
she reached her car. She sat for some time trying to
compose herself so she could drive. Finally, she
calmed down some, and put the key into the ignition.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Toby was getting ready to leave to go to work, he
glanced down at his hand and caught sight of the gold
band on his left hand. He had worn it for so long,
most of the time he even forgot it was there. This
morning to stuck out to him as a remnant of the past
that was no longer necessary. He had mourned the end
of his marriage, probably much longer than he should
have. On this of all mornings, one fact stood out to
him. There was someone other than Andrea that he was
in love with. She had walked out of this apartment,
and probably out of his life two hours earlier.
Although, CJ had not allowed him to say it, he knew
that when the administration was over that he would
seek her out again. He would try to pick up the
fractured pieces of their relationship. Hopefully, it
would not be too late for a second chance then. He
looked at the ring again, and then removed it from his
finger.
to be continued...