Chapter 22
The January sun shone bright melting the ice and snow. Kelsey found herself staring out the church windows watching the water fall off the melting icicles. She tried to shut out the words
the priest was reciting. It didn't seem possible that he was speaking about her mother. No, her mother wasn't here in that coffin; she was back in Washington waiting for Kelsey to return.
Kelsey's mind knew that wasn't the case, but her heart needed time to catch up.
She felt someone squeeze her hand, drawing her back into reality. Looking down, Kelsey saw Toby's hand on top of hers. The moment Leo had told him about Anne's death, he had left the
White House to be with Kelsey. Never leaving her side even as they flew to Chicago two days ago. Toby had helped with the preparations and had taken the phone calls that Kelsey wasn't up
to dealing with. She had come to rely on him so much in such a short amount of time. Glancing up, Kelsey caught Toby looking at her, his eyes clouded with concern for her. She squeezed
his hand back and gave him a small smile before turning her attention back to the altar.
Danny was the first person to recite a poem. It was one that he thought best described Anne.
"When I am gone from your side,
and all your tears have been dried
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft star that shines at night
And when you stroll in the evening hours
and catch the aroma of beautiful flowers
There'll be no need to sob and cry;
I am not there, I did not die!"
Tears began to fall down Kelsey's face as Josh walked up to the lectern to recite one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnets that Anne had chosen for the service.
"I thank all who have loved me in their hearts,
With thanks and love from mine. Deep thanks to all
Who paused a little near the prison-wall,
To hear my music in its louder parts,
Ere they went onwards, each one to the mart's
Or temple's occupation, beyond call.
But thou, who, in my voice's sink and fall,
When the sob took it, they divinest Art's
Own instrument didst drop down at they foot,
To hearken what I said between my tears,…
Instruct me how to thank thee! - Oh, to shoot
My soul's full meaning into future years,
That they should lend it utterance, and salute
Love that endures, from Life that disappears!"
Kelsey took a deep breath, remembering the order of the service in her head. One more song, a few prayers, then communion followed by the eulogy. The part she was dreading the most
because she was the one who was to deliver it.
After communion, the priest invited Kelsey up to the lectern to say a few words about her mother. She walked up to the altar slowly, the papers in her hands trembling slightly. Looking out
into the congregation, Kelsey observed all the people whose lives her mother had touched. Taking a deep breath, she began.
"Knowing my mother, she's probably looking down on all of us right now and wondering what the fuss is all about. My mother was never one to step out into the spotlight. She preferred
that her clients and her daughter take that position, while she stood in the background basking in our glory. It was what she loved most, to see someone succeed because of something she
helped him or her to do. For some reason the song 'The Wind Beneath My Wings' comes to mind when I think of mom and everything that she did for others. Mom was 'a beautiful face
without a name, I never once heard you complain.'"
"Many of you here today knew Anna Marie Saufl as a business partner, an agent, a boss or a friend. I was very lucky to call this wonderful woman my friend and my mom. We had a bond
that others envied. We knew each other's moods just by how the other entered the room. Mom knew when I needed to be alone and she also knew when being alone was the last thing I
needed. I'm going to miss our long talks at the end of the day especially when we'd talk about my love life or lack thereof."
"Someone once asked me what trait I inherited from my mother. I thought a long time about that question. I wanted to say I inherited her stubbornness or her determination or her sense of
style. But when I finally answered the question, I said I hoped that I would inherit her courage. The courage to face cancer head on and never let go. The courage to smile even though all she
felt like doing was crying. It is mom's courage that will get all of us through these dark days."
"A few months ago, mom and I were having one of our late night talks and I asked her if she was afraid of dying. 'No!' she insisted because even after death, she was going to keep an eye on
me. When I asked her how, she told me this…"
"'Whenever you see a sunrise, I painted it for you. Whenever you see a cloud, I knitted it for you. And when the wind caresses your face on a summer day, that's me sending you my love.' I
love you, mom and I miss you so very much."
Kelsey headed back to the pew, accepting a hug from Toby when she reached him. The service concluded and after the burial at the cemetery, everyone gathered for a small reception at a nearby
restaurant.