Title: A Mentor for Joanie Part 8/?

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Joanie goes home and sparks fly.

Note: I dunno how many parts we're looking at here people but it's no where near done. The whole thing put together is almost 40 pages long! ACK!

Dedication: To you people who asked for a romance I hadn't planned on writing. Also to Meredith, for being the Lori to my Joanie.

Note2: If you're looking for all the chapters of A Mentor for Joanie, check out www.fanfiction.net under the author Rogue. It's all there and feel free to review.

A Mentor for Joanie Part 8: Where There's Smoke...

I hate planes.

It's official. Before I just had a small loathing but after this deadly ride it has exploded into a massive hate.

First of all, I managed to get the seat from hell. It was the one behind the honeymooners but in front of the four-year-olds. Holy shit...that's all I can say. The whole time I was trying to copy down my interview with Bartlet on my laptop, the kids behind me were kicking the damn seat! I swear to god that their parents really were ignoring it. Hell as long as the kids were occupied and they got a break from them, what did it matter that the 23 year old ivy league student with a massive head ache would now swear off ever having children?

ARG!
And then we were forced to watch some really stupid romantic in flight movie. Now usually I'm in to all the gushy romantic crap but right then I just wasn't in the mood. Gee think it was the fact that my seat kept lurching from the brats behind me? Not to mention that in the middle of the film the couple in front of me were making out. I almost threw up those disgusting peanuts the flight attendant tossed to me.

It was the longest flight of my life. I am not ashamed to admit I wished pain upon the people on that plane.

When I finally manage to trudge off the 747, I have a headache the size of Massachusetts. I toss my suitcase on to a cheap airport waiting seat and fall into one of the other ones. I glance at my watch that reads it is ten-o clock at night. I'm tired, at this rate I just want to go home and collapse on to my bed with my puppy. I miss Kennedy, okay? Love of my life.

I told Leo before I left when my plan was supposed to come in and he said he'd pick me up. So all I have to do is wait.

*****

Time: 10:30

Okay I'm getting a little worried here. Where the hell is Leo? I mean I know traffic sucks but its ten thirty! If he doesn't come soon I'm going to freak out. I already had two cappachino's and must admit now I'm a bit wired. I swallowed some Tylenol so that hopefully my headache would die away and now I'm sifting through PEOPLE magazine.

Where the hell is Leo?

*****

Time: 10:50

I have now read the whole contents of the newspaper stand. I've seen a bunch of people reunite with their friends and family at the airport and meanwhile I just want to go home. I think I'll use my American Flag phone to call Leo. Also...is there a rule about taking coffee with Tylenol? Must check bottle and see if I should call the hospital to get my stomach pumped.

*****

Time: 11:00

No answer at home, absolutely none. I left a message on the machine.

~Hi you've reached 555-6571, we can't answer the phone so leave a message for Joanie, Leo or Kennedy at the beep. And if you're Donna Lyman, chill out, you're daughters not out getting her leg tattooed. BEEP~

I don't know what possessed me to put that on the message. I think it was after my mom got paranoid when I went to college. Oh well, I'm weird and I had fun making the answering machine message. And now I'll leave my own message for Leo.

"Leo hey it's Joanie, remember me? I live there? Well now I'm kinda stranded at the airport and unless there's a Star Trek marathon on the SCIFI channel, you'd better get your ass down here with the car, okay? Come quick, bye."

I hang up and slip my American Flag phone in my pocket and go try to find a magazine I haven't read twenty times that doesn't have a cheesy boy band on the cover.

******

Time: 11:15

Okay, I'm going to call a cab soon. Where the hell is he! I'm getting pissed.

******

Time: 11:30

I'm going to kill him. Kill him. Going to use my razor to do it, since its a perfect example of my feminine side that has now evolved into a psycho murderer because Leo's an ass hole who can't remember to pick me up from the freaking airport!

I'm going to kill him.

Next time you see Leo Tobias Seaborn he'll be in a body bag.

******

Time: 12:00

You would think that since it's midnight, it's easier to hail a cab. Well I have news for you pal...its not. The headache I suppressed earlier returned with a vengeance. Damn the Tylenol and the fact they have rules against taking more than two. If I weren't so paranoid about taking three and then dying I would ignore that rule.

Anyway, by the time I hail a cab I'm pissed, have a headache, and want to bash Leo's head in.

I bark at the cab driver to take me to my apartment building and jump out when he stops at the curb. I struggle a bit with my suitcases but I somehow manage to get into the elevator and topple out of it when I get to my floor.

Annie and Chrisóyou know, the neighbors with the headboard against my wall? ówere out in the hall talking.

"Hey Joanie," Annie smiled when she saw me. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, I'm just going to kill my room mate," I say, walking over to my door and getting out my key.

"Oh, okay."

I open my door and walk in, suitcases in hand.

I would regret ever walking in to that apartment later.

I expected to walk into my apartment and find Leo watching TV and Kennedy curled up on my rug. Not what happened. Instead I got a lovely view of Lana walking in to my kitchen wearing nothing but one of Leo's Harvard shirts.

"Oh...hey Joanie," Lana says like this is nothing. Nothing! She's in my apartment wearing only a tee shirt and this is nothing?!

I think I drop all my suitcases and I'm not sure if I scream or not but I must have because it makes Leo burst in to the living room. In his boxer shorts! Yes its fine for me, I've lived with him for a year, but Lana shouldn't see him in those!

Wait...none of that matters if they've ALREADY HAD SEX!

I can't believe this, I'm going to loose it. Like volcano loose it.

Then Leo has the absolute audacity to say, "Joanie? What are you doing here?"

I'm going to explode. We're talking Mount St. Helen here.

"What am I doing here?" I repeat, voice dripping venom. "I told you earlier today I was taking the plane back here and would land at ten o clock the latest! I was waiting for you to pick me up! I was there waiting for TWO HOURS!"

Leo just shakes his head and mutters, "Whoops."

"Whoops?! Leo, I was stuck there reading Teen bop!" I storm past him into my room. "Just so you could stay here and screw around! And by the way I mean that in both senses of the word." I slammed my bed room door shut as Leo and Lana both gave me surprised looks. F*** them, I don't care.

I plop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, willing myself to go to sleep. Why did it hurt me this much that Leo opted for Lana instead of me? He forgot all about me, but when you look at Lana it's obvious why anyone would. She's not too tall, but not too short, with dark skin and black flowing hair. She looks like she could be a Chinese Princess. She has a model's body with high cheekbones and thin shapely legs. It makes me sick. Its not that I'm ugly, on the contrary, I'm pretty, but I'm not drop dead gorgeous. My brown hair is plain and strait, resting below my shoulders. My brown eyes are a flat dull color with the occasional speck of blue from my mother. I have way too pale skin, really long legs and a medium sized chest. When I've gone out with guys the things they most dislike about me are: 1 that I'm taller than they are on most occasions. 2, I look like I'm dying and if you hold my hand up to a piece of paper, my hand would disappear. 3, I'm horribly disorganized and always late. 4, I hate make up. I just hate it. I never wear it; cause lets face it, if you don't like how I look without it, why bother? Sometimes I wonder how Lori ended up my best friend. She loves make up, and dresses, and all that kind of stuff I would never touch. Seriously, last time I wore a skirt I was two and couldn't do anything about it. But Lori makes up for that by being a guy hater and a sarcastic witty person. So we click, I guess.

Ugh, I'm lying face down on my pillow now and I wonder how I'm ever going to look at Leo again. Lana too. All I can think about is them...eeeeew! I pound a fist in to my bed and start to count sheep. Anything to get my mind off of Leo and Lana the beauty queen.

1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, 5 sheep...

Hey five's Leo's lucky number.

AAARRGG!!!!!!!!

****************

I hate alarm clocks.

See last night I hated planes and Leo, and this morning I hate my alarm clock. Not that I still don't hate planes and Leo, it's just that's not my focus right now.

Right now I'm focusing my anger on the blue alarm clock next to me on the stand. I will throw it against my wall, I swear I will. I will smash it against the wall and then I will pummel it with my Mike Piazza bat that's hanging above my bed.

I would do all this...if I weren't dead tired. So instead I just lay in bed and listen to the song that's streaming out of the alarm clock radio.

I found a book of matches

To a place we've never been

How come you hang the phone up

The minute I walked in?

Last night I had this dream that I was loosing you

I woke up in the cold and shaking

Bless me my heart is breaking

Say it isn't so

Tell me it's not true

Say it isn't so

I believe in you

Tell me it's a lie

I don't need no girl

Say everything's all right

Super man don't fly

They were all strings

Elvis Priestly died

They deprived the King

Like some cheesy bathing beauty

Dancing on the beach in a bad, bad movie.

Say it isn't so...

Don't give up on me

Say it isn't so

Don't give up on you

Say it isn't so

Oh god, I think I may cry. Instead I slam the snooze on my alarm clock and lay back down. I have to go outside some time, but I just don't want to. I don't want to see them together again. It made me sick. Not stomach, throw up sick...but heartsick.

The phone rings on my table next to my bed and I lunge for it lazily.

"Hello?" I grumble into the receiver.

"God Joanie you sound horrible."

"Thanks Lori for the vote of confidence."

"I'm sorry Joan...what happened?"

I sigh, "The interview was fine, I got really great stuff...and then I came home."

"And?"

"I...no one picked me up at the air port so I hailed a cab and went home," I mutter. "And I walked in to find Lana in my apartment." Lori gasps. "Yeah...wearing nothing but a tee shirt."

"Holy shit!"

"Exactly."

"Well...it's about time Leo went out on the date patrol," Lori muses.

"WHAT?" I fume. "Lori she's a slut, you'd hate her! She Miss Teen Princess for god's sake!"

"Okay, jeez, Joanie, chill," Lori says quickly. "I didn't mean it that way. Calm down...you really don't like her do you?"

"No," I grumble. "I mean I'm sure she's a nice person its just..."
"She's going out with Leo."

"Yeah."
"And you're not so you're pissed."

"Yeah."

Wait a second...

"No!" I yell.

ëWhatever, Joan," Lori laughs a little.

How dare she take advantage of my sleepy state! That's what I blame that answer on by the way.

Shut up all of you.

"So what are you doing now?" Lori asks.

"I'm...lying on my bed dreading going outside."

"Joanie it's your apartment too, you're going to have to go out there eventually."

"I know."
"Do it now."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"I'm talking to you!"

"Well bye!"

"No wait, Lori!"

Too late, I was greeted with a mocking dial tone and I slammed the phone down on the hook. I rolled out of bed and realized I was still in my jeans and a Notre Dame tee shirt. God I need a shower.

So I took a short shower and changed in to a pair of jean shorts and a little black tee shirt. I opened my door slowly and peered out, looking from side to side to see if anyone was there. No one, coast was clear.

I open the door the rest of the way and walk into the kitchen. Kennedy's lying in front of the oven, looking up at the counter where I kept the dog treats. He knows that if he stares at them long enough I'll pity him and give him a couple. And that's just what I did.

As Kennedy's happily chewing his dog treat I walk over to the answering machine and press the button.

~ Hi you've reached 555-6571, we can't answer the phone so leave a message for Joanie, Leo or Kennedy at the beep. And if you're Donna Lyman, chill out, you're daughters not out getting her leg tattooed. BEEP ~

"Joanie, its your father."

Oh great.

"Listen your mother and I just wanted to know how yesterday went so...call us when you can, all right? Oh, and your mother wants you to change your answering machine. Bye."

Mom, as soon as you chill out I'll change the answering machine.

The machine clicks and moves on to the next message.

"Hey Joan, its Noah, listen, call me, okay? I've decided to fly to Hartford for the primary and just felt like talking to you. Call me okay? Oh...Minako says hi."

I smile a little. Minako has been Noah's girlfriend since forever. She's Japanese and really kind and pretty. Interestingly enough she's a lawyer and has a close friendship with Ainsley. I have to laugh when reminded Noah's girlfriends a lawyer cause when he left the house he swore he would never date someone who was a lawyer since he lived in a house full of them. Well...that was before he met Minako.

"Joanie its Lori. CALL ME!"

Got to hand it to Lori, she keeps it short and simple yet emphatic.

"Leo it's your mother, call me."

Gee, Ainsley's the same way.

"Leo, hey its Lana."

I drop the cup I'm taking out of the cabinet and it bounces off the tiled kitchen floor and Kennedy chases after it. Thank god it wasn't glass.

The message continuos, "Listen I just can't stop thinking about you, call me all right? Thanks...bye."

Oh my god...may...throw...up.

She can't stop thinking about him. Unfortunately neither can I. I hate her, I hate her so much.

Where the hell is Leo, anyway?

As if reading my mind Leo walks in to the kitchen, walks past me without a word and pulls out a bagel.

I think back to what Lori said...that I might actually beógaspójealous of Lana. I think it's ridiculous. But still, when Leo walks over and sits at the table I start to notice things I hadn't taken the time to notice before.

Like how his black hair hangs in his eyes before it's combed. Like how his eyes are the clearest blue with specks of green. They're watery and deep and look like a Robin's egg might. I notice how when he's in a tee shirt his arm muscles show better and that they're actually kind of nice. And when he lifts his shirt a little to scratch his stomach that he has a pretty nice six pack. That his mouth manages to be full and not look feminine at the same time. That he looks really cute in those blue plaid boxers with the Tasmanian Devil on the back. That his nose isn't too pointy and isn't too broad, just in the middle. That he has freckles up his arm. That when he doesn't have his glasses on he looks like Keanu Reeves from this old movie my mom made me watch call The Matrix.

Oh my god.

Leo's a hottie! I don't understand, how could I be living with such a cute guy and not realize it till now? He's totally sexy sitting here in his pajamas. Suddenly I start to have butterflies in my stomach. This is ridiculous; Leo's never given me butterflies before! Oh god, I think I may throw up. I take a deep breath and force myself to remember why I'm so mad at him.

I still hate him...even though he's cute.

"Hey Joanie, wanna go to the movies today."

"No," I say shortly.

"Barnes and Noble?"
I'm not that gullible.

"I don't think so."

"Damn it Joanie!" Leo yells and throws the knife he was using to put cream cheese on his bagel.

"Hey you could have poked an eye out with that thing!"

"Why are you mad at me!" he asks, yelling.

"Why? Gee Leo, let me think," I shout sarcastically. "You forgot me! You forgot me so you could screw Lana!"

"Okay, first of all, I didn't screw anybody," Leo corrects, annoyance etched in his voice. What right does he have to be annoyed anyway? "The train that she usually takes home was delayed an then canceled so I told her she could stay over. She slept on the couch, Joanie."

He gestures to my gaudy gold couchóthat I don't think I'll ever look at the same way againóand sure enough I see a pillow and some bedding lying on top of it.

Okay so she slept on the couch...he still forgot about me.

"You didn't come for me, Leo," I pout.

"I forgot Joanie," he sighs. "I'm not perfect okay, I forgot. I'm sorry, are you going to be pissed at me forever?"

"Maybe," I mutter, although my rage is already starting to dwindle. "I don't know Leo...I just don't like her."

"What don't you like about her, Joanie?" Leo asks quietly. So quietly it actually surprises me.

"She just not your type," I shrug.

"Oh...and what is my type?"

Me! I'm your type.

Oh my god, tell me I didn't just think that. Well, it could have been worse, I could have said it out loud.

"Just...not her," I say since I can't think of anything else and obviously can say what I think. "She's artsy, and showy, and interested in getting a smart guy so she can act like she knows something. She seems like a real ditz."

"She's actually really nice," he glares.

"I'm sure she is...but I don't like her," I sigh. "And it doesn't matter that I don't. She's your girlfriend Leo. What matters is that you like her." I walk over and grab Kennedy's leash. "I'm going out for a walk, I'll be back later."

Leo doesn't say anything, he just watches me from the kitchen and I walk out, Kennedy following me on his leash.

I slam the door shut and lean against it with a sigh.

I can't handle this. I just realized my best friend is gorgeous. No wonder Lana wants him. They would totally be the super model couple. Maybe they belong together.

I lift my hand up and tug at my own flat full brown hair.

I'm hopeless. And let's face facts here people...I'm never going to hook up with Leo.

Never, do you here me? Never, ever, so stop wishing for it cause its just not going to happen.

Hey I wonder if that salon on Fifth Street is still open?

TBC