DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, except for KD Brody and David Beckwith. The
song "If you're gone" does not belong to me, it belongs to Matchbox Twenty.
Can anyone tell that I'm a Matchbox Twenty fan? :)

NOTES: Thanks for the lack of death threats. This story takes place about
three months after "Separate Lives" which took place in late May, so this is
late August. Once again, I'm never sure about the politics of this world so
I'm making it up. Enjoy.

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong


The West Wing felt silent. One less person around to brighten people’s
days had a tendency to create that feeling. KD Brody had often been around to
make fun of people, make them smile, or make them laugh. She wasn’t in the
office today. She hadn’t been in the office for nearly three months. David Beckwith
sat at his desk, working hard on the fax she’d sent him the night before. True, she
wasn’t physically there, but she’d talked to Leo and the President, and she faxed,
emailed and mailed regularly. But what was that to the purpose? David wanted her
there, poking fun at him again.


I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure


Down the hall, Josh Lyman scribbled on the report regarding the release of
the medical research bill the following week, but all he could think about was the
emptiness of the West Wing. He stood and looked out into the hallway. People
were walking fast as usual. People shouted and tossed papers back and forth.
Down the hall, Josh knew Sam was arguing with the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell goons,
and he also knew that somewhere Leo was trying to convince a senator that the
medical research bill was something worth passing. Josh sighed and sat down on
his couch, trying not to think. But he’d lost a big sister before, and it seemed
almost as if he’d lost a little one now.


I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing


But Josh wasn’t the only one suffering. In another office in the West Wing,
Toby Ziegler stared at the wall. He convinced himself that he was trying to think
about the trip to Dallas that he, Josh and CJ were leaving on later that evening,
but his thoughts had been trouble for the past three months. He was lonely, and
he was grumpy. He turned to his desk and tried to write. Writing seemed to make
him feel better, even if he didn’t write well. He thought of KD a lot, but the
thoughts were getting weaker. He tried to believe that it was out of sight, out of
mind and that he’d be fine again soon.


If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you


Leo hung up the phone and glanced at his desk. He didn’t know what to do
next. He knew the plane was taking off in about five hours, so he had to make sure
that he had something for the staff meeting at four, only he couldn’t find anything
they hadn’t already gone over dozens of times. Right now he just felt like sitting
still for a few moments. Three months seemed to come and go so fast, but life had
hardly returned to normal. It hadn’t even returned to the normal that was before
KD had ever come along. Toby was grumpier than usual, Josh was quieter than
usual, Jed was less energetic, CJ was more professional, Sam was . . . Well, Sam
was Sam. If anything, Sam was always was Sam. Leo didn’t know what he himself
was. He was sad, probably all of the above. A mixture of the rest of the staff. He
talked to KD on the phone sometimes. He couldn’t tell how it was that she felt. He
didn’t know for sure that she missed the life she left behind, but he knew it
anyway. He knew her.


I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind


‘President of the United States, and I can’t even control my own life,’ Jed
thought softly. He had a staff full of people who were moping because he made
the decision to let KD disappear into the sunset. Did he make the right decision?
KD still did her job, emailing and phoning in at least once a week. She’d had some
good conversations with a lot of people across the country in the past few
months, making some good observations about what the people wanted and what
the people truly thought of Bartlet’s White House. He could remember just three
months ago, they were all laughing and partying and enjoying each other’s
company. Toby and KD were making promises to be together forever, and
everything was right with the world. Then something happened, something
nobody understood, and KD was requesting to leave. At first, Jed couldn’t
understand it, but now all he knew was that he had granted her request, based on
the promise that she would return. It had been three months, and no one had seen
her face. What could happen now?


I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling


CJ stared at her report and tried to understand what she had to say. She
was leaving for Dallas in five hours and she didn’t know what to say to anyone.
She had to get up in front of the Press tomorrow and tell them about the Medical
Research Bill, along with Toby and Josh, but the one thought that was on
everyone’s mind was that KD was supposed to be there. The Medical research
was KD’s project, and who was CJ to come and take it over? Who were Josh and
Toby to take it over? KD spent her time making the bill perfect, probably because
of what happened with her father so many years ago. Josh had lost a father, so he
believed he could handle the bill in KD’s absence. Still, all CJ could think of was
how she wanted KD to be around to help them out.


If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you


Danny Concannon was used to many different things. He was used to KD
running away. He was used to CJ shutting him out. He was used to having to dig
for answers. Soon enough, he would be following the three staff members to
Dallas where he would cover the press conference that he knew belonged to KD.
He knew CJ was nervous about the conference, mainly because it belonged to KD,
but the bill was going to the floor next week and they had to get it done. Right now
the principal goal was to get the Texas Senate to recognize the merits of the bill.
The Texan senator said that he would decide his vote based on the results of his
state senate’s approval of a similar bill. So CJ, Josh and Toby were heading out
there to Dallas to do their jobs, even though they all knew that the only reason
they were being sent was because KD wasn’t around, and between the three of
them, they knew almost everything KD knew. What one didn’t know, one of the
other two did, thanks to KD’s teachings.

But Danny had a feeling about this trip. As he crossed the hallways
towards CJ’s office, he couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen on
this trip. He knew something was, but he didn’t know what. It had been three
months and he’d told CJ that KD would be coming home. Now doubt was starting
to fill into everyone’s head and people had to deal with the fact that she might not
be coming home. No one wanted to deal with the fact that KD might not be coming
home. Danny didn’t want to. He had to before, and he didn’t want to now.


I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing


KD looked at her watch and then slid the key into the ignition. The engine
roared to life, allowing her to back out of the hotel parking lot. She had covered so
much ground in the past three months, she didn’t even remember where she was
the week before. She knew where she was heading now, and where she was
heading after that, but the whole thing had just erupted into one big mess. She
was tired of feeling the way she did at the end of every day. By now she’d gotten
to feeling numb instead of anything else. She didn’t know how to feel about
anything so she just felt numb.


If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you