LEO
Abbey!

ABBEY
Leo, thank God you're here. Help me get him on the bed.

LEO
You heard her, help me get him on the bed.

RON and DONNIE
Sure thing, Mr. McGarry. Right away.

[Leo, Ron, and Donnie pick Jed up and put him on the bed.]

LEO
Thank you, both of you. You may go now.

RON
Yes sir, but if you need our help again, don't hesitate, we will be
right outside.

LEO
Sure thing.

[Ron and Donnie leave.]

ABBEY
Leo, what happened? What did you tell him on the phone?

LEO
Um…Uh…There's a girl in my office who claims to be your
stillborn child.

ABBEY
What?!

LEO
Um, yeah, she says that you gave birth to her, not a stillborn. She
says that she was switched at birth with the stillborn.

ABBEY
Are you serious?

LEO
Yes, she says that she had a DNA test done for some reason or
another, and it turns out that the people who have raised her are not her
biological parents. So, she hired a private investigator, who went
back to the hospital records for that night. It turns out that you
are the only other person who gave birth to a girl that night. The
investigators soon found the nurses that were on duty that night, and
got one of them to talk due to a heavy conscience.

[Jed has just come to.]

JED
Abbey…

ABBEY
Leo just told me.

JED
You were right, all this time…

ABBEY
Don't worry about it

JED
But…

ABBEY
It's okay. Don't worry about it.

JED
Is she still here, Leo?

LEO
Um, yeah, she's in my office.

JED
I want to see her, and I'm gonna want a DNA test too. Also, I don't
want anyone else to know about this, not until we know anything for
sure, one way or the other.

ABBEY
Leo, what's she look like?

LEO
Well, Abbey, there's a striking resemblance to you.

ABBEY
Really? She looks like me?

[The following day in Veronica Lynn Williams', or Roni's (supposed
child of the Bartlet's) temporary bedroom. Jed walks in while Roni
is listening to a portable cd player. As soon as she sees him, she
takes off her headphones]

JED
So whatchya listening to there?

RONI
A song called "Two Beds and A Coffee Machine."

JED
Oh. Who sings it?

RONI
Savage Garden.

JED
What's it about?

RONI
A mother who takes her children to a motel or hotel every time after
she has a fight with her husband. And how the mother goes back to
the house and it happens all over again.

JED
So what does that have to do with the title?

RONI
Well, sir, my guess is that the title came from the fact that the mom
takes the kids to a hotel where there are two beds and a coffee
machine.

JED
Sing me a few lines from it, would ya?

RONI
I don't sing, sir.

JED
Well then read me a few lines.

RONI
Okay. How about the part…um, okay… "Another ditch in the
road, you keep moving. Another stop sign you keep moving on. And the years go
by so fast, wonder how I'll ever make it through. Another bruise to
try and hide, another alibi to write. Another lonely highway in the
black of night, but there's hope in the darkness and you know you're
gonna make it through." Then it goes back to the ditch in the road
part.

JED
Sounds like a good song.

RONI
Yeah, it is.

JED
Sounds like it can really speak to a person.

RONI
Yeah.

JED
And it's about such an important issue.

RONI
Once again, I find myself agreeing with you, sir.

JED
So…did that ever happen to you?

RONI
What?

JED
Did your parents ever fight, to the point where someone had to leave?

RONI
No.

JED
That's good.

RONI
No, cause my dad was always too busy fighting with us kids to fight
with my mom. Well, us older three kids. And my mom, she never took
us anywhere. She just stood back and watched.

JED
I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

RONI
I know you didn't. There's no way you could have known.

JED
If you don't mind my asking, why only the older ones?

RONI
Well, my older sister and I wouldn't let my dad hurt my little
brother whichever one of us was around, and there was always one of us
around, we would shield him from my dad.

JED
There are three of you?

RONI
No, there's four of us. My older brother, Eric, my older sister,
Rachel, my little brother, Andrew and me.

[Abbey walks in.]

ABBEY
Well, there you are. I've been looking all over for you.

RONI
Amazing that you would find me in my room.

ABBEY
So what are you two talking about?

JED
Well, uh, Roni was just telling me about, uh…

RONI
About my abusive father.

ABBEY
Your abusive father? I'm sorry, I didn't…

RONI
Why is everyone sorry? Did either of you make him hit me? Did you
make him give me bare butt belt spankings, break doors down to beat
me, call me all sorts of names, yell and cuss at me all the time, or
make him do the same to my older brother and sister? No, you didn't.
So you have nothing to be sorry about.

ABBEY
Still, I'm sorry, especially if you do end up being our daughter.

RONI
Well I am your daughter, and in a few days, you'll see I'm telling
the truth. But it's not your fault. It's not like you are the ones that
switched me at birth. Anyway, I'm not trying to lay a huge guilt
trip on either of you. It happened, I've dealt.

ABBEY
But it could have been avoided. You didn't have to grow up like
that. You didn't have to "deal" as you put it.

RONI
Yes, but I did. And it's partly my fault.

JED
Don't be ridiculous. It wasn't your fault that your dad abused you
and your mom did nothing. You can't blame this on yourself. You
were a victim.

RONI
But in a way it is my fault. Every single time DSS came, I lied to
them about what happened. My mom made me lie. Like the time I ended
up getting a huge welt on my head, and Mom had me say I bumped into a
door, which is what happened. Only it was after my dad slammed my
head into the door.

[Silence befalls upon the room.]

RONI
All I'm saying is that it happened, it's over. You can't change the
past, but you can learn from it, and grow from it. Because of all
this stuff, I believe I'm a stronger person now. Yeah I wish it
didn't happen, but it did, it's no one's fault. Now can we just drop
this and move on?

JED
Yeah, sure kid. Anything you want.

[Yet another time silence overcomes the room.]

ABBEY
So, if you do end up being our daughter, what then? What do you
intend on doing?

RONI
Well, I really don't know. You see, I'm kinda like a free spirit. I
don't make long term plans, and when I do, they usually end up being
changed, or getting canceled. So really I haven't thought about it.
Have you?

ABBEY
Well when do you have to go back home?

RONI
Whenever. Like I said I don't make long term plans.

JED
You don't have a plane ticket or anything?

RONI
No, not really. I was gonna see how things turn out here first.

ABBEY
So you plan on sticking around if you are our daughter?

RONI
I am your daughter. And, If you want me to I'll stick around. But
I'm gonna have to go to church on Sunday.

JED
Oh, yeah?

RONI
Yeah, my mom, okay this is really weird.

ABBEY
It shouldn't be, cause first of all, we don't know for sure if I am
your mom, or that he is your dad. And second of all, even if we are,
we understand that you were raised by other people and you are more
inclined to call them mom and dad.

RONI
Glad you understand. It's still weird, cause for one, I do know you
are my biological parents. Anyway, my, uh, my mom is a devoted
Catholic, she lives her life for the Catholic church. She used to be
the parish council president, and for as long as I can remember, she
has always played the piano at church. Uh, where was I going….oh
yeah. So with her being so devoted, I suppose a little of it has
rubbed off onto me, for I have yet to miss a weekend of church, and I
don't really plan on starting now. I mean, there's not many teens
that can say that about themselves, in fact, there are not many people
period who can say that about themselves, and I would like to remain
in the tiny percent that can say it.

JED
Really? You never missed one weekend, not even one. Talk about
impressive.

RONI
Yeah, well what can I say, I like being Catholic.

ABBEY
Well, if you are our daughter, and you do stick around, we will make
sure that you get to church.

RONI
Cool.

ABBEY
So you are going to stick around, if you are…

RONI
Yes, I will stick around, and yes I am your daughter.