I grasp the doorknob with dread when I return to the bedroom. What awaits me on the other side?

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and Leo. I know you are just worried. Can you give me a hand with these sweats, I don't think I can do it myself."

"Sure"

I kneel on the floor and take off my husband's shoes and socks and help him into his sweats and slippers, as if he were one of the kids. I can't help but wonder if this is how things will be in the future. But there's no time to think about things like that now.

"Couch or the bed?"

"Not now dear, I'm not feeling too well" He smiles weakly and really seems to be resigned to have me fuss over him, for a change. But that isn't a good sign. It means he's about to give in to the MS, at least for the moment.

"Very funny"

"Couch is fine"

I settle down at one end of the couch while he sits and puts his feet on the coffee table in a effort to get more comfortable. I know he views getting in the bed as a sign of defeat so I grab a pillow and gently lay him down, putting his head in my lap. He starts to talk but I put my fingers on his lips and tell him to relax. Sitting there with his head in my lap and stroking his hair it's easy to forget he is the most powerful man in the world. He's just my husband and I don't know what I would do without him. Darkness starts to fill the room and I am too comfortable to get up and turn on the lights. Jed has finally fallen asleep. He looks peaceful for a change. I just wonder how long it will last. The silence is once again broken, this time by the phone.

"Yes, sure put him on"

"Hi, Charlie. He's doing OK. He's resting. He's not coming back down tonight so why don't you take off. I know Zoey is around, why don't you find her and go out to get something to eat"

I glance at the clock and realize I have been asleep almost 45 minutes. Nothing like a power nap. The clock reads 6:00, almost an hour since Jed took something for the fever. I stretch for my bag and hunt for the ear thermometer. Placing a hand on his forehead I am not reassured that the thermometer will show much of a change. I am right, 101.9, not what I was hoping for. It should have been lower by now. I gingerly lift his head from my lap and slide off the couch, trying not to wake him. I think I have succeeded. Now it is my turn to don some sweats. I grab another Notre Dame shirt, off of the floor of course, right where he left it. It still smells like him. I run in to the bathroom so my sobs will not wake him. It doesn't take me long to compose myself.

I return with a damp washcloth. I smooth back Jed's hair, drop a kiss on his cheek and place the cool cloth on his forehead. I grab a quilt out of the chest at end of the bed and cover him with it. Remembering I never stopped to eat this afternoon I go out to the hall to talk to the agent on duty before going to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

"He is asleep, just listen for him. I'll be in the kitchen, call me if he wakes up. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Yes ma'am"