Note to self: Don't kick a wall in a busy hallway. Attracts stares.

When he asked me to lunch today, I said yes. Why did I say yes? Because
it's lunch. Nothing special about that. Just two people, who work together,
leaving the office, where they work together, to have lunch in a nice
peaceful restaurant, which is outdoors in the sunlight where there's enough
light around to illuminate his smile and the way his eyes twinkle . . . I've
got it bad, don't I? Oh, God, what's going to happen now? What do I do? I
have to talk to him. That's what I've got to do. What the devil am I going to
say?????

Hey, Cathy. Toby was what? He's okay though, right? Okay. Where's Sam?
Again? Didn't they have one this morning? Oh, the Forbes thing. Right, okay.
Well, I'm gonna go see Mandy to see if she needed to give Josh anything else
on this thing in Arlington next week. Bye Cathy.

Okay. Silence again. Need to think. Thinking hard while walking through a
busy hallway might not be a smart thing. Mandy's not in her office. Back to
my desk I guess. What was I thinking about? Josh. Oh, wow. Josh. I work in
the White House, the busiest, most important office in the country, right
after Microsoft, and the only thing I can think about is Joshua Lyman and the
fact that I can't stop thinking about him. Shouldn't I be worried about the
spotted owls or nuclear weapons or kids getting shot in the streets by their
peers? Instead I'm thinking about how the light illuminated Josh's eyes at
lunch today, and how he laughs so evenly, so headstrong, and how he looks at
me and I want to hug him . . . and how he needs me and I need him. I need
him.

Oh, hey Josh. Yeah, I need to talk to you too. Wow, his grip is so firm.
I half wanna smack him for pulling me. I can make into his office under my
own momentum. Oh, boy. He's closing the door. He doesn't close the door
unless he means business. Josh, look, all I wanted to say is that I'm sorry
for blowing up at you. I was confused and not really thinking when I should
have been. What changed? Well, I just had to think about it. It? It is . . .
oh, boy. How do I tell him what it is? God, he's looking at me. What gorgeous
eyes. I feel like he's staring into me. What do I say?

Okay, this isn't talking, but it does feel good. His mouth is warm, and
pressed against mine, and all I can think is that I don't care about anything
else right now. I'm kissing him. He's kissing me. Does that mean he feels the
same way? Oh, wow. I'm . . . hot. It's hot in here. Um, Josh? Did what just
happen happen? I mean. Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Yeah, okay.
Dinner sounds good. okay. . . By the way, um, how's Toby? He's okay? Yeah,
okay. Great. Um. Bye. Warm again. He feels good in my arms and it feels good
in his.

A lot of people are staring at me. I guess I must be beet red here. I do
have work to do, don't I? I have to do . . . some stuff. . . To, um, get
ready . . . for that thing. Yeah, in Arlington. Okay, Donna, breathe . .
breathe . . . breathe . . . Phooooo. Exhaling can be fun. Okay, now I've gone
insane. I'd better find something to work on. Something . . . I need a cold
drink. . . among other things. Where'd I put my purse?

Am I happy with this? . . . Yes. I am.